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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Nowadays, some individuals believe that professionals,
such
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 as lawyers, doctors, and engineers, should pursue their careers in their home country and hometown.
Conversely
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, others argue that these professionals should be free to follow their dreams comfortably and conveniently in other countries and abroad.
Although
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 I firmly agree with the former perspective,
this
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 essay will elaborate on both views and provide my opinion. On the one hand, many experts,
such
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 as doctors, healthcare staff, and surgeons, feel a strong sense of duty towards their country.
For instance
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, Professor Samiee, despite having numerous opportunities to
work
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 and study in countries like the USA, Canada, and Germany, chose to establish a private family hospital to treat patients in Shiraz city.
Moreover
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, even in the middle age of his life, he continues to perform numerous neurosurgeries in his nation.
Additionally
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, some experts receive modest salaries and
work
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 with limited resources, but their commitment to helping their fellow citizens remains unwavering.
For example
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, during the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020, many doctors, nurses, midwives, and surgeons not only continued to
work
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 but
also
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 dedicated extra hours to support their communities in the hospital.
On the other hand
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, some individuals who have completed their education in their home country prefer to immigrate to foreign nations to stay abreast of the latest advancements and techniques.
For example
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, my elder brother went to Malaysia to pursue his doctorate in 2010. After graduating, he decided to immigrate to Australia to
work
Use synonyms
 in modern and advanced offices and benefit from improved facilities and a higher quality of life. In conclusion,
while
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 many individuals tend to
work
Use synonyms
 in their homeland out of a sense of duty and loyalty, others choose to immigrate to different countries to pursue their goals and aspirations. In my opinion, everyone should have the freedom to follow their ambitions, provided they have opportunities in life.

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a balanced discussion of both views, and you have expressed your opinion clearly in the conclusion. However, consider further developing your ideas to provide more depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs flow logically from one to the next. You can use more cohesive devices to link your ideas and make the transition between paragraphs smoother.
Task Achievement
You have provided relevant examples that support your points effectively, demonstrating your understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction outlines the different perspectives clearly, setting the stage for a well-structured essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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