Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years. What are the primary causes of this? What measures should be taken to reduce childhood obesity?
In recent years, suffering from fatness has become an essential issue among young people. The main factors responsible for obesity are the significant popularity of junk meals and the limitation of physical actions in adolescents. To address these problems, the government should reduce the cost of health products and parents must force their children to keep an active lifestyle.
One major cause is the widespread distribution of unhealthy cooking around the world. Unfortunately, maintaining a healthy diet these days is difficult because of high prices, so our generation used to eat meals which are affordable and convenient for them.
For instance
, students who are studying at school cannot afford to waste a lot of money on their nutrition every day, and they must buy an unbeneficial flour product. The Optimal solution can be if the government keep Linking Words
this
situation controlled by making balanced prices for all types of snacks.
Another factor is the absence of leisure exercises among children. Nowadays, teenagers are in their comfort zone because of technologies Linking Words
such
as smartphones, computer games and social media. They spend a lot of time at home hanging on gadgets, which leads to restriction of physical activity and Linking Words
then
to obesity. Linking Words
For example
, if parents control their children`s actions and limit the wasting of time Linking Words
for
unnecessary routines, adolescents will maintain healthy lifestyles. By doing so, they will get used to Change preposition
on
such
as the positive side of life from their childhood.
In conclusion, the famousness of Linking Words
applying
unhealthy food and the absence of leisure movements in children`s lives are key reasons why obesity has become a serious problem. The balanced cost of health products and special control by their parents can solve these issues.Verb problem
eating
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task achievement
The essay contains relevant ideas, but expanding on each point with more detailed explanations or examples could improve comprehension.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using more cohesive devices, such as linking words or phrases, to create smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure clarity in your writing by avoiding vague expressions or unclear statements that may confuse the reader.
task achievement
The identification of key causes of childhood obesity is clear and relevant.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay includes a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which helps in understanding the overall argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite