In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

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In many nations,

individuals

Use synonyms

are now living longer compared with the past. Some

people

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if the aging gets increased there will be problems for authorities. Others believe that it has positive effects if there are more old

people

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alive.

Although

Linking Words

elderly

individuals

Use synonyms

can teach

people

Use synonyms

how to be truthful person, I believe that there are more drawbacks than benefits because it will increase the responsibilities of authorities to provide medical services. On the one hand, many

people

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learn to be a good person through the old ones

such

Linking Words

as their grandparents.

This

Linking Words

is because all the ones so a lot of things in the past,

such

Linking Words

as how to treat each other in many cases. Namely, they know how to treat others respectively on their experience of interacting with other

people

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Therefore

Linking Words

, young

individuals

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try to take advice from them

for

Change preposition

show examples

practising the manners of other

people

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and to spread it.

For example

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, there is a wide range of groups which volunteer in nursing homes to achieve knowledge about how to be a good member of society from old-timers.

As a result

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, it will be beneficial to the

government

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because the population will respect each other.

However

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, I believe

this

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will satisfy the

government

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slightly

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because there are more important things

such

Linking Words

as health.

On the other hand

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, there would be a problem in the medical sector which is hard to manage by the

government

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. If there is a high population of old

people

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the need for medical services will increase because elderly

individuals

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struggle when they need to deal with sickness.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, their buddy would not accept to survive from the sickness.

For instance

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, many doctors in Japan are having a hard time with old ones because they are less tend to heal.

In addition

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, it causes an increase in diseases.

This

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is why I believe it can cause more problems for the

government

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because of the struggle in the medical department. In conclusion,

although

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oldsters can teach the majority the manners of being a good citizen, I believe the rising population of aged

people

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can cause problems for authorities regarding health services.

mcqueensever Mon Feb 03 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Ensure to clearly differentiate between the arguments for and against the aging population in your paragraphs to enhance clarity.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and ensure your ideas are fully developed to support your arguments more effectively.

coherence and cohesion

Review sentence structure and word choice for clarity and grammatical accuracy, particularly in the introduction and topic sentences.

task achievement

Your essay presents a clear opinion stating that you believe the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, which is valuable for the reader.

task achievement

You've made a good attempt at discussing both sides of the issue, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

354 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

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