In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

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In many nations,
individuals
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are now living longer compared with the past. Some
people
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if the aging gets increased there will be problems for authorities. Others believe that it has positive effects if there are more old
people
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alive.
Although
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elderly
individuals
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can teach
people
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how to be truthful person, I believe that there are more drawbacks than benefits because it will increase the responsibilities of authorities to provide medical services. On the one hand, many
people
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learn to be a good person through the old ones
such
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as their grandparents.
This
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is because all the ones so a lot of things in the past,
such
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as how to treat each other in many cases. Namely, they know how to treat others respectively on their experience of interacting with other
people
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.
Therefore
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, young
individuals
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try to take advice from them
for
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to
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practising the manners of other
people
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and to spread it.
For example
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, there is a wide range of groups which volunteer in nursing homes to achieve knowledge about how to be a good member of society from old-timers.
As a result
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, it will be beneficial to the
government
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because the population will respect each other.
However
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, I believe
this
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will satisfy the
government
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slightly
,
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apply
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because there are more important things
such
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as health.
On the other hand
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, there would be a problem in the medical sector which is hard to manage by the
government
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. If there is a high population of old
people
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the need for medical services will increase because elderly
individuals
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struggle when they need to deal with sickness.
Furthermore
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, their buddy would not accept to survive from the sickness.
For instance
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, many doctors in Japan are having a hard time with old ones because they are less tend to heal.
In addition
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, it causes an increase in diseases.
This
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is why I believe it can cause more problems for the
government
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because of the struggle in the medical department. In conclusion,
although
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oldsters can teach the majority the manners of being a good citizen, I believe the rising population of aged
people
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can cause problems for authorities regarding health services.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure to clearly differentiate between the arguments for and against the aging population in your paragraphs to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and ensure your ideas are fully developed to support your arguments more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Review sentence structure and word choice for clarity and grammatical accuracy, particularly in the introduction and topic sentences.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion stating that you believe the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, which is valuable for the reader.
task achievement
You've made a good attempt at discussing both sides of the issue, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
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