Obesity has been found to be a serious health hazard the world over, over the past few decades. What are the causes behind it and what are the effects of it on various sections of the community?

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Over the course of
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last
Correct article usage
the last
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decades, the world has faced a wide range of health problems and obesity is not an exception. In fact, there are various factors
such
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as physical inactivity and over-eating which
brings
Correct subject-verb agreement
bring
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about dire consequences for both the person and the society. The main reason behind the rapid rise in the population of
over-weight
Correct your spelling
overweight
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individuals
Use synonyms
is their sedentary lifestyle. In many
books
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books,
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the 21st century is addressed as
leg-less
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a leg-less
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man era because thanks to the prevalence of technology, people are glued to their chairs more than ever before. Even little children show a tendency to watch an
animation
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animated
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movie rather than
going
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go
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to
park
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the park
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or
spending
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spend
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time in nature.
Moreover
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, another root cause of gaining weight is unhealthy eating habits
such
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as consuming sugar and oil in excess. Today’s cuisines are mainly based on fried meat and white flour
that
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which
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has more calories than the body entails.
for example
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, a study
in
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at
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Nashville University discovered that by omitting sugary beverages
such
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as energy drinks, the process of losing weight becomes faster. Obviously, If the number of
over-weighted
Correct your spelling
overweight
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people continues to increase, all the members of
a
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apply
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society
would
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will
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be affected significantly.
The
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Individuals
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individuals
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who
has
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have
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more than average weight, are more likely to suffer from severe health problems like
blood
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high blood
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pressure and diabetes,
therefore
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individuals
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and governments need to allocate significant budgets
on
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to
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health issues. As a tangible example, a news report on BBC declared that more than two and a half million dollars has been spent to cure some weight-related discomforts in 2020.
Moreover
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, some
individuals
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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are fat prefer to stay at home, thereby triggering the feeling of laziness and isolation gradually.
As a result
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, they become less productive and cannot contribute In summary, the phenomenon of obesity is considered to be one of the most concerning issues all around the world.
This
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hazardous situation is rooted in our bad decisions on food consumption and lack of movement,
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consequently
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consequently,
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it is hampering lots of lives by disengaging
individuals
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from simple activities like walking
in
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on
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beaches or hiking in mountains.

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task response
The introduction outlines the topic well, but it could be more engaging or specific in stating the causes and effects to create a clearer roadmap for the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas could be better connected with linking phrases to enhance clarity. Transition words such as 'furthermore', 'in addition', or 'however' can help guide the reader more smoothly through the essay.
task response
It would be beneficial to elaborate more on the effects of obesity on various sections of the community, perhaps including more specific examples or statistics to support your points.
task response
The essay presents a relevant and compelling overview of the causes and effects of obesity, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic.
task response
Your use of examples, such as the study from Nashville University and the BBC report, adds credibility to your arguments and strengthens your points.
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