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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, some university
students
Use synonyms
 in specific countries tend to live with their families during their courses,
whereas
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 in different nations pupils are far from their relatives and study in other cities. The following essay will first provide the benefits of studying at a university far from home before articulating my viewpoint.
To begin
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 with, opportunities to study in another city may give essential abilities for one's skills. Living far from relatives and studying in city universities is known as an improvement not only in education but
also
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 in acquiring flexibility and self-empowerment characteristics. Recent studies have shown that
students
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 who are living away from home tend to be more successful in future life.
For instance
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, a study by scholars at the London University provided information that these types of scholars have more businesses. Scholars interviewed them and, found that these
students
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 gained
such
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 skills because they had to face the problems
while
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 living independently.
On the other hand
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, the merits of studying far from family are so varied.
Firstly
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, learning in other cities or countries creates a chance for the youth to become independent owing to the fact that they learn how they manage responsibilities to do their work like shopping, choring households and so on.
Secondly
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, when young people live in other urban areas, their knowledge about other cultures and social behaviour is improved. In fact, living separately from family provides an opportunity for them to know how they should behave with the population, having various social norms.
To sum up
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, the good points of learning in several metropolises can eclipse the bad points because it increases independence and planning for their lifetime.
In contrast
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, it has an adverse effect on the family's economy and the
students
Use synonyms
' mental health.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating on your main points with more detailed examples or explanations to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance the overall flow of the essay by using more cohesive devices between sentences and paragraphs to connect your ideas.
structure
You present a clear position on the topic and structure your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
language
Your vocabulary usage is adequate, and some complex ideas are effectively expressed.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
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