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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show how student travelled to university in the UK and USA in 2010 and 2015.

The charts below show how student travelled to university in the UK and USA in 2010 and 2015.
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The pie charts compare the percentages of
students
Use synonyms
 who used five different modes of transportation to travel to
university
Use synonyms
 in the
UK
Use synonyms
 and the
USA
Use synonyms
 in the years 2010 and 2015.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 who commuted to
university
Use synonyms
 by car, by bicycle, and on foot increased in
both
Use synonyms
 countries between 2010 and 2015.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 who travelled to the
university
Use synonyms
 by bus and taxi decreased in each country over the 5-year
period
Use synonyms
. In 2010, the percentage of
students
Use synonyms
 who travelled to the
university
Use synonyms
 by car was 27% in the
UK
Use synonyms
 and 29% in the
USA
Use synonyms
, and these figures increased to 30% and 35%, respectively, in 2015. Between 2010 and 2015, there was an increase of almost 5% in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 who commuted by bicycle in
both
Use synonyms
 the
UK
Use synonyms
 and the
USA
Use synonyms
 between 2010 and 2015.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the tendency to walk to
university
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 rose slightly in
both
Use synonyms
 countries over the same
period
Use synonyms
. The remaining two modes of transportation in the
UK
Use synonyms
 and the
USA
Use synonyms
 during the
period
Use synonyms
 from 2010 to 2015 were bus and taxi. From 2010 to 2015, the percentage of
students
Use synonyms
 who travelled by bus in the
UK
Use synonyms
 and the
USA
Use synonyms
 decreased from 33% and 27% to 29% and 24%, respectively. Meanwhile, the
number
Use synonyms
 of taxi users
also
Linking Words
 decreased by almost half in
both
Use synonyms
 countries over the same
period
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, university, uk, usa, number, both, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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