IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In your letter describe the situation explain your problems and why it is difficult to work say what kind of accommodation you would prefer You do NOT need to write any addresses.

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to express my concern regarding the current accommodation arrangement
in
Change preposition
apply
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which I share with another student.
While
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 I understand the need
shared
Change preposition
for shared
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 accommodation.
This
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 condition has become increasingly challenging for me. Particularly with respect to my ability to work and study effectively. The main issue is the lack of privacy and constant noise in the room. My roommate has different study hours and he often plays music and receives visitors. Making it difficult to focus.
Additionally
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, the room is not spacious enough for both of us to study and work comfortably at the same time which leads to a lot of distractions. I would prefer to be relocated
a
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to a
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quieter,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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single room where I can have the space and environment conducive to my studies. I believe I can greatly enhance my education performance and
overall
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 well-being. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Akbar Surya

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task achievement
Make sure to clarify the need for shared accommodation and explain your issues in additional detail.
coherence and cohesion
Consider rephrasing the transition into your preferred accommodation type for smoother flow
task achievement
The letter is polite and maintains a formal tone throughout, which is appropriate for the context.
coherence and cohesion
The description of the issues with the accommodation is clear and effectively outlines your situation.
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