IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Nowadays congestion and Traffic jams are a common and major problem in most cities. Some people believe it is a good idea to construct wider roads to resolve this issue. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? What can be the solution, in our opinion?

#congestion #traffic #jams #cities #people #idea #roads
It is undeniable that
traffic
jams
 are the most common problem in big cities.
While
 some believe that investing in a wider road can solve
this
 problem, I personally disagree with
this
 statement.
Instead
 of constructing a larger road, the
government
 should provide public
transportation
 and manage working
hours
.
To begin
 with, many people these days tend to use private vehicles, especially cars and motorcycles. They choose these types of
transportation
 because they think it is more flexible.
However
,
this
 choice leads to
traffic
 congestion on many routes in the city.
Moreover
, the same working
hours
 between workers and
students
also
 lead the
traffic
jams
, because both workers and
students
 tend to have a similar schedule to go to their workplaces or schools.
As a result
, the roads become crowded because people are going somewhere at the same time. Fortunately, there are two solutions that the
government
 could apply in order to solve the
traffic
 jam problem.
First,
the
government
 should invest more in public
transportation
, especially buses.
This
 solution could reduce the number of cars on the roads.
Second,
the
government
 should manage the different working
hours
 for
students
 and workers, so it can reduce the number of people who commute
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
 rush
hours
.
For example
, Jakarta's
government
 already invested in public
transportation
such
 as buses and commuter lines, and managed the working
hours
 for its civil servants starting at 9,
while
students
 start at 7 in order to congest
traffic
jams
. In conclusion, I personally disagree in order to solve
traffic
jams
 the
government
 should construct wider roads.
Instead
 of doing that, the
government
 should invest in public
transportation
 and arrange new working
hours
 for its inhabitants.
Submitted by ers.2024 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures more to enhance fluidity and make your essay even more engaging.
task achievement
To improve task response, ensure all aspects of the question are fully explored with balanced arguments, particularly when discussing counterpoints or the complexity of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Effective use of an introduction and conclusion to frame your argument.
task achievement
Good use of relevant examples to support your points, enhancing the clarity of your arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • congestion
  • traffic jams
  • urban sprawl
  • induced demand
  • public transportation
  • sustainable
  • urban planning
  • walkability
  • infrastructure
  • smart traffic management
  • ride-sharing
  • environmental impact
  • comprehensive strategies
  • carpooling
  • green solutions
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