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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating to the environment, population and education as well . What problems will your country face in the next 10 years? How can these problems be overcome

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Over the next decade, Canada will encounter significant challenges in areas
such
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 as environmental sustainability, population dynamics, and
education
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. These issues, if not addressed effectively, could hinder economic progress and social well-being.
However
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, with well-planned strategies and proactive governance, these problems can be mitigated. One of the most pressing concerns is climate change, which continues to have a profound impact on Canada’s ecosystem. Rising global temperatures have led to an increase in wildfires, severe storms, and flooding, posing a threat to both urban and rural communities.
Additionally
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, industrial pollution, deforestation, and excessive reliance on fossil fuels have contributed to deteriorating air and water quality. To combat these environmental threats, the government must enforce stricter carbon emission regulations, invest heavily in renewable energy sources
such
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 as solar, wind, and hydroelectric power, and implement large-scale reforestation initiatives.
Furthermore
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, public awareness campaigns should be intensified to promote sustainable lifestyles, encouraging individuals to adopt environmentally friendly habits
such
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 as waste reduction and the use of public transport. Another major challenge Canada will face is
its
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it's
it is
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 shifting demographic structure, characterized by an
aging
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ageing
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 population and high immigration rates.
While
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 immigration plays a crucial role in economic growth, the rising number of elderly citizens will place an increasing burden on the
healthcare
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system
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 and pension funds. To address
this
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, the government should expand
healthcare
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 services, particularly in geriatric care, and invest in the training of
healthcare
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 professionals to meet the growing demand.
Additionally
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, policies should be implemented to integrate immigrants more effectively into the workforce, including better credential recognition programs and targeted job training initiatives. Encouraging a balanced approach to urban development,
such
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 as the construction of affordable housing and improved public infrastructure, will
also
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 be essential in managing population growth. The
education
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system
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 must
also
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 evolve to meet the demands of the modern workforce. Traditional academic models are often outdated and fail to equip students with the skills required for emerging industries,
such
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 as artificial intelligence, biotechnology, and renewable energy. To bridge
this
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 gap, the government should reform the
education
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system
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 by incorporating more practical and technology-driven learning approaches.
This
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 includes expanding vocational training programs, integrating digital literacy and STEM subjects into primary and secondary
education
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, and promoting lifelong learning opportunities.
Furthermore
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, increasing investment in research and innovation will help ensure that Canadian institutions remain globally competitive. In conclusion,
while
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 Canada will face substantial challenges over the next decade, these issues can be effectively managed through forward-thinking policies and collective effort. By implementing strong environmental regulations, addressing demographic shifts through improved
healthcare
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 and immigration policies, and modernizing the
education
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system
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, the country can secure a sustainable and prosperous future for its citizens.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating more on the importance of climate change initiatives and the direct impact they have on Canadians to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Incorporate more transitional phrases between paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas. For instance, phrases such as 'Additionally', 'Moreover', or 'On the other hand' can help guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
While your paragraphing is well-structured, ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence that outlines its central idea to improve overall clarity.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear understanding of the challenges Canada may face, reflecting thoughtful analysis and insight.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively summarize your main points, providing a cohesive framework for your arguments.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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