Today many young people spend too much of thier free time at shopping malls.This can be considered negative for young people and society generally.To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement.
It is often believed that the increase in young adults spending in shopping
malls
is a negative development for themselves and society. I partially agree with Use synonyms
this
, for the declining opportunities to go out for exercise regardless of the fact they are more likely to engage in an actual interaction with Linking Words
others
.
On the one hand, it is disadvantageous for young Use synonyms
people
and society when they spend more Use synonyms
time
in shopping centres from a perspective of their health. Use synonyms
In other words
, they are more likely to either watch movies or eat sweets and food in restaurants, which increases their health concerns Linking Words
due to
their continuous sedentary acts Linking Words
as well as
consumption of sugary and greasy products. Linking Words
Furthermore
, the growing attraction provided by recent Linking Words
malls
discourages them from playing sports outside, promoting the lack of exercise and an increasing rate of obesity among young adults. Use synonyms
Therefore
, the trend of the youth spending their free Linking Words
time
in shopping centres is not beneficial since they would not be able to gain enough stamina and strengthen their muscles, which are essential to support their life.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, spending Linking Words
time
in shopping facilities has a positive effect on the development of a relationship among young Use synonyms
people
. Indeed, face-to-face communication plays a significant role not only in promoting the understanding of each other but Use synonyms
also
in increasing their sense of care and respect for their friends and family. Linking Words
For instance
, they tend to be more thankful for cheerful support and unique jokes of their friends to make them laugh when they feel depressed from failing academic performance. Linking Words
Thus
, chatting with Linking Words
others
in shopping Use synonyms
malls
is valuable as they are more encouraged to realize the importance of Use synonyms
others
to establish trust Use synonyms
whereas
more young Linking Words
people
depend on their smartphones for communication and lose actual contact with other Use synonyms
people
.
In conclusion, I somewhat agree that young Use synonyms
people
should not spend more Use synonyms
time
in shopping Use synonyms
malls
as it leads to their declining physical conditions Use synonyms
due to
the lack of exercise outside. Linking Words
However
, there is some potential advantage in that they are more likely to show their sympathy for Linking Words
others
, resulting in a successful relationship.Use synonyms
Submitted by mizuho on
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introduction conclusion present
While your introduction provides a clear stance, it could be more concise. Try to rephrase it to avoid slight redundancy.
clear comprehensive ideas
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complete response
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I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.