Many people are afraid to leave their home because of their fear of crime. Some people believe that more actions should be taken to prevent crimes but others feel that little can be done. Discuss both view and give your own opinion

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While
Linking Words
you are staying at home that does not mean you
are protect
Change the verb form
are protecting
show examples
yourself, Because the criminals
do
Verb problem
are
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not scared to attack you at your home,
Therefore
Linking Words
you should leave your home whenever you want.
The crimes
Correct article usage
Crimes
show examples
are common nowadays, Because the
govermant
Correct your spelling
government
is not
seriouse
Correct your spelling
serious
about
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. or the corruption could be
reason
Add an article
the reason
a reason
show examples
. They should increase the restrictions to protect the
popluation
Correct your spelling
population
.
Therefore
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I tend to that. If the crimes
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
happen many times
that
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
are terrible for the economy
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Because a tourist can not visit and support your economy
while
Linking Words
you have
danger
Replace the word
dangerous
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places.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Brands can not open in your country as well. instance Africa. They think that, Because they do not believe the
govermonet
Correct your spelling
government
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they might be part of
crime
Add an article
the crime
a crime
show examples
. They gave up to improve
them
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
country, Or they are worrying if there is something dangerous
happen
Wrong verb form
happened
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when they changed or increased the restrictions. instance drogs or seller drogs. In my opinion, They have to do something to change, Because
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people want to live
as
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in
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fredom
Correct your spelling
freedom
why
they
Add a missing verb
are they
show examples
scared
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
Add an article
the criminal
a criminal
show examples
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
show examples
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Thank you, I am looking forward to hearing back from you.

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coherence cohesion
Provide a clear introduction that outlines your main arguments and includes a thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and flows logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points, as this will strengthen your argument and improve your score.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with the use of grammar and punctuation, as this affects the clarity of your writing.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument, which is essential for achieving a well-balanced discussion.
task achievement
Your conclusion expresses a clear personal opinion, showing engagement with the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • advocate
  • crime prevention programs
  • surveillance
  • community policing
  • deter
  • incidence
  • CCTV cameras
  • security systems
  • skeptical
  • unavoidable
  • deep-rooted
  • punitive measures
  • sustainable solutions
  • balanced approach
  • holistic approach
  • equitable
  • compelled
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