In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?
Thesedays
, Correct your spelling
These days
Add an article
the government
government
are investing in modern technology to cope with the public Fix the agreement mistake
governments
due to
the increasing demand for public services such
as digital health records, e-learning
platforms. With the purpose Correct word choice
and e-learning
to enhance
delivery and Change preposition
of enhancing
reduce
waiting times. I think it is a good solution Wrong verb form
reducing
to
the public.
Change preposition
for
To begin
, The push towards digital transformation is also
driven by the need to stay abreast with technological advancements and to address the growing expectations of a tech-savvy population. By incorporating modern technologies, governments can provide services that are more in tune with the contemporary lifestyle, thus
increasing public satisfaction and engagement. A good example of this
is that the speed of internet
will be faster if the authorities spend more Correct article usage
the internet
money
on technology.
However
, people often
Add a missing verb
are often
concern
about the privacy of data and Replace the word
concerned
and
the cost Remove the redundancy
apply
Change preposition
of implementing
Change preposition
of implementing
Replace the word
implementation
implementing
. It is vital that investments are made in a way that ensures inclusivity and safeguards the rights and privacy of the public. Replace the word
implementation
This
investments
is indeed an appropriate use of government Change the determiner
investment
money
if leads to improved public services, increased efficiency, and better governance. Additionally
, it should be invested in other area
Change the wording
another area
other areas
such
as healthcare, education, and infracstructure
, and should include measures to protect privacy and reduce inequality.
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
To sum up
, because of the demand of the public, government
spend Correct article usage
the government
money
ontechnology
. It is an appropriate use of Correct your spelling
on technology
money
de
to the benefits of healthcare and education.Correct your spelling
due
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task achievement
Be sure to address both questions raised by the topic comprehensively across your essay, including why the government investments in technology are happening, and your personal opinion on the matter.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points, which will strengthen your argument and give your essay more depth.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, work on smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs, ensuring that each paragraph flows logically into the next.
language
Watch your grammar, spelling, and sentence structure to avoid minor inaccuracies that could distract from your message.
content relevance
You've effectively highlighted the importance of technology in modernizing public services and the potential benefits such investments have.
task response
Your essay addresses the topic's questions with a clear stance on the government's use of funds for technology, indicating a good understanding of the essay's requirement.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.