IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays famous people are photographed by professional photographers everywhere they go. Some people say this is a good thing because the public are interested in their lives. Other people think that photographers are wrong to follow famous people. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Photography is a medium through which famous
people
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 are presented in front of us. Professional photographers are always seen capturing
celebrities
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 all over the place.
While
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 many
people
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 find
this
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 as positive since
people
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 are always fond of seeing them and talking about them, other
people
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 consider
this
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 as a wrong approach.
This
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 essay will discuss both sides of the argument and in spite of arguments against it, it is my opinion that excess photo capturing must be avoided in
this
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 case. On one hand, many
people
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 argue that photographing
celebrities
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 is a positive thing because the public is naturally curious about their lives. These images satisfy
people
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's fascination and allow fans to feel more connected to their favourite stars.
In addition
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, these photographs have economic value for media outlets, photographers and even
celebrities
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. They are often used in magazines, websites and social media, generating revenue and providing
celebrities
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 an opportunity to promote their works and personal brands.
Furthermore
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, the constant coverage of famous
people
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 serves as entertainment for many individuals. Following the lifestyle of famous
people
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 has become a trend in the modern era, with many
people
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 viewing it as a form of leisure and entertainment.
On the other hand
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, the practice of photography has many drawbacks. The most significant concern is the invasion of privacy. Despite their fame,
celebrities
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 deserve to have their personal life, free from constant monitoring and out of the public eye. Photographers chasing after them wherever they go can be distressing, as it leaves them with little freedom to carry out everyday activities.
In addition
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, the psychological impact of
such
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 relentless surveillance should not be underestimated. Constantly being judged and criticised by the media can lead to anxiety and stress, affecting the
overall
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 mental situation of
celebrities
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. In conclusion,
while
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 there are clear advantages to photographing
celebrities
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,
such
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 as public interest and financial gains, the ethical concerns surrounding privacy cannot be ignored. In my opinion, excess photography coverage should be avoided to let the stars lead their comfortable life.

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task achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task and presents both views effectively. However, ensure that every point is fully developed with depth and clarity.
coherence
Transitions between ideas and paragraphs are mostly smooth, but using more varied cohesive devices could enhance fluidity. Consider adding phrases like 'Moreover' or 'In contrast' to clarify relationships between points.
task achievement
Some specific examples or more detailed explanations could strengthen your arguments, particularly in the second paragraph. Examples of celebrities affected by media scrutiny would add relevance and specificity to your points.
coherence
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and your position, setting a solid foundation for the essay.
task achievement
The arguments presented are balanced and address both sides of the issue effectively, showcasing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Celebrity status
  • Public interest
  • Invasion of privacy
  • Mental health impact
  • Media scrutiny
  • Personal freedom
  • Ethical considerations
  • Public figure
  • Consent
  • Balance
  • Surveillance
  • Unwanted photography
  • Admiration
  • Inspiration
  • Intrusive
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