IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Most countries allow 18 year old to start driving a car. Some say it is good to allow driving at that age. Others think that the age of start driving should be at least 25 years. Discuss both views.

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There is no doubt that these days many countries allow teenagers over 18 years old to have their liscens early. The question is, Is it
safety
Replace the word
safe
show examples
 enough for young people to get their
licence
Use synonyms
 at 18 years old? I totally agree with the statement
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 having
Correct article usage
a liscens
show examples
liscens
Correct your spelling
license
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 young age. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both views. In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of some views. people don'
t
Use synonyms
 want teenagers to
drive
Use synonyms
, because they think they are more
rackless
Correct your spelling
reckless
show examples
 of road safety. The main reason given to support
this
Linking Words
 claim is that they don'
t
Use synonyms
 care
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 road rules and they
tent
Correct your spelling
tend
show examples
 to race much in the street. To illustrate, the police should give them a test for
short
Add an article
a short
show examples
 period to see ,if they go with the rules the police put
it
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 for them or
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
 have
any
Correct determiner usage
an
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 accident.
In other words
Linking Words
, police should put
an eyes
Correct the article-noun agreement
eyes
an eye
show examples
 on them, so that they don'
t
Use synonyms
 do something wrong or put them and others in a big
danges
Correct your spelling
danger
dangers
. I believe parents must be with their kids when they
drive
Use synonyms
 first time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the street.
Moreove
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, having
adolescence
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
show examples
 a driving
licence
Use synonyms
 will make them very independent and responsible for the driving rules and other
drivers
Change noun form
drivers'
driver's
show examples
 safety.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they need a
licence
Use synonyms
 to go to school and even shopping for themself. In other words,
driving
Correct article usage
a driving
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licence
Use synonyms
become
Change the verb form
becomes
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 an important object that the person must have.
Secondly
Linking Words
, if something
happened
Wrong verb form
happens
show examples
 and they don'
t
Use synonyms
 know how to
drive
Use synonyms
 the car it is going to be a problem.
this
Linking Words
 is
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 everyone who became in age 18 years
must
Correct word choice
old must
show examples
 have their
owne
Correct your spelling
own
 cars.
Also
Linking Words
, that will prevent them
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 asking someone to take them to wherever they want. I believe
drivig
Correct your spelling
driving
 a car will make them more independent person in their life. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 knowing how to
drive
Use synonyms
 is an essential aspect in the world.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe having a
licence
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
young
Correct article usage
a young
show examples
 age is better for everyone.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to structure your paragraphs clearly, and use topic sentences to introduce each main idea.
task achievement
Clarify your arguments by providing additional examples or explanations where necessary.
language accuracy
Pay attention to spelling and grammar accuracy to improve clarity.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and includes both views on the topic, which is crucial for a balanced discussion.
coherence and cohesion
You have structured your essay into an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is great for overall coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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