In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

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Ownership of an apartment rather than renting a
place
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to live is an important issue in some countries. I absolutely believe the pros outweigh the cons. population naturally like to own things and
a
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have a
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sense of proprietorship.
In addition
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, it gives
people
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a sense of success and achievement. Buying a building helps bodies to feel independent and powerful and
this
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is a feeling that a part of
people
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loves.
Furthermore
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,
people
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feel more comfortable in their own
house
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because they can decorate it in different ways and have their favourite style in the case of,
for example
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,
colour
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the colour
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of the walls.
People
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do not need to transport every year from one
house
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to another if they buy one for themselves. Transportation is difficult and may cause a lot of harm to household items and It is usually costly too.
For instance
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, a tenant family may have to transport more than ten times until they buy a
house
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.
Moreover
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,
people
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get used to a
place
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that they live and emotionally they prefer to stay a long time in a particular
place
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and not move.
However
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, some
people
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think that it is costly to buy a
house
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and it is not possible for everyone to do that.
People
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should spend most of their savings to buy a
place
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to live
while
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they can spend it in other ways. I absolutely refute
this
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idea. The security and comfort that
people
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achieve with buying a
house
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are so valuable and worthy. The owner of a rented
house
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may not be a great person and it can cause a lot of problems between the two sides. In conclusion, a lot of
people
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prefer to buy a
house
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to feel more comfortable and do not have the problems of transportation and problems related to owner and tenant relationship

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coherence and cohesion
Consider providing clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to enhance logical flow.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate on your points with more specific examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Refine your introduction and conclusion to include a brief summary of the main points discussed.
task achievement
You effectively expressed your opinion on the topic and maintained a clear viewpoint throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your writing demonstrates a good understanding of the emotional aspects of home ownership.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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