It is better for people to be unemployed than being employed with a job they do not enjoy. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is an argument that states it is better to remain jobless

instead

Linking Words

of working in an unpleasant job.

This

Linking Words

essay totally agrees with that statement because engaging in an undesired occupation could lead to several drawbacks for both

workers

Use synonyms

and employers.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the trend of many individuals working in unpleasant occupations has been growing for a decade.

Therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

phenomenon significantly affects

workers

Use synonyms

' mental health, especially in job sectors that require complex calculations, namely engineering and accounting.

As a result

Linking Words

, the number of employees suffering from psychological issues has been increasing since 2013.

For instance

Linking Words

, in Indonesia, the Ministry of Health stated that the number of people suffering from

high stress

Add a hyphen

high-stress

show examples

levels reached more than 2 million in 2021.

Moreover

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend is not only detrimental to

workers

Use synonyms

but

also

Linking Words

to companies.

This

Linking Words

is because employees identified as suffering from psychological issues tend to take more frequent days off

instead

Linking Words

of their

psychologically-fit

Correct your spelling

psychologically fit

show examples

peers.

As a result

Linking Words

, companies will suffer from a lack of workforce to conduct their daily operations

such

Linking Words

as keeping their production lines running.

Hence

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

has a severe impact on their revenue because production is not running properly.

For example

Linking Words

, the revenue of several garment manufacturers in Indonesia has been declining since 2015 because most of their

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

needs to see psychologists during weekdays. In conclusion, if

workers

Use synonyms

engage in an undesired job

instead

Linking Words

of remaining unemployed, it might adversely affect not only themselves but

also

Linking Words

the corporations, as it will lead them to become stressed and unproductive.

rahmanparentioMon Apr 29 2024

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coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting sentences that directly relate to that main idea.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.

task achievement

To strengthen your task response, try to address the prompt more fully by discussing counter-arguments or acknowledging different viewpoints before justifying your own position.

task achievement

Continue providing specific examples to support your arguments, but also consider how you can elaborate on these examples to further demonstrate your point.

task achievement

You have a clear thesis statement and restate your position effectively in the conclusion, which strengthens your argument.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-organized, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes your argument easy to follow.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Job satisfaction
Mental and emotional well-being
Stress
Depression
Financial instability
Quality of life
Job dissatisfaction
Career goals
Skills and experiences
Networking opportunities
Social isolation
Productivity

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It is better for people to be unemployed than being employed with a job they do not enjoy. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five cities in Australia

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, prefer to take risks and think that change is a positive thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

some people believe that it is good to shere as much information as possible in scintific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, most countries improve the standard of living through economic development. But some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of the phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages.

Although families have influence on a children’s development, factors outside the home play a bigger part in their lives nowadays. To what extent do you agree or disagree?