As compared to the past, children these days spend more of their leisure time indoors with computures and TV and less time outdoors. Describe some of the problems this lack of outdoor leisure time can cause and suggest at least one possible solution.

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It is argued that youngsters are more interested in modern technologies rather than outdoor

activities

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as a result

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, it may lead to a sedentary lifestyle which can be dangerous because a lack of outdoor

activities

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can lead to obesity, poor posture, weak muscles, and losing communication with other groups of people. In my opinion, one possible solution is to create structured outdoor

activities

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that are both educational and entertaining,

such

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as nature trails, sports leagues, and teamwork projects. No one can deny that modern technologies are much more capturable than outdoor games for the younger generation,

also

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it can cause some

health

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problems. Lack of physical

activities

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not only affects

health

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but

also

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causes a loss of social interaction in the community.

For example

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, statistics from WHO made in 2022 report that the number of young people,who are suffering from

health

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problems ( obesity and poor posture) caused by computers and mobile phones increased by 20% to the previous year.

Also

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, children are isolated from their family and friends cause of constantly playing video games and utilizing modern devices. One possible solution for

this

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crucial issue can be managing well-structured

activities

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, teamwork and some outdoor games in order to keep young people physically active. Once motivated to do more exercises and can see their real potential teenagers can reduce

health

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problems step by step.

For instance

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, by the

last

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report by the

Health

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ministration of Kazakhstan, the was a noticeable rise of 30% in the figure of community who were motivated and taken part in fitness.

To sum up

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, it is an undeniable fact that teens are willing to waste time locking themself in their room just because of computers.

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, it can end up with some vital hardiness issues

such

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as being overweight and having bad eye vision,

while

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the possible

solutions

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solution

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are

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setting up a new environment for them to stay motivated.

jj Wed Feb 05 2025

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task achievement

Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines your main points for the reader. It's essential to identify the problems and solutions more explicitly within the introduction.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to develop your conclusion further. Currently, it feels abrupt, and summarizing your key points in more detail can enhance overall coherence.

coherence and cohesion

In your paragraphs, try to maintain a clear focus. Each paragraph should ideally address one main idea with adequate development and transitions to help the reader follow your argument more smoothly.

task achievement

Your essay presents relevant examples that illustrate the problems arising from reduced outdoor activity among youth.

task achievement

You have attempted to suggest a solution which adds value to your argument and shows consideration of how to address the issue.

task achievement

The use of statistics adds credibility to your argument and reinforces the seriousness of the issue in question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

315 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
obesity
screen time
social interaction
mental health
nature deficit disorder
posture
teamwork
structured activities
community engagement
physical fitness
exposure to nature
environmental conservation

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As compared to the past, children these days spend more of their leisure time indoors with computures and TV and less time outdoors. Describe some of the problems this lack of outdoor leisure time can cause and suggest at least one possible solution.

Fully explain your ideas

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some people say that the only reason for learning foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn foreign language. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

In some countries, more and more adults are continuing to live with their parents, even after they have completed their education and found a job.

In the past, teachers were the main source of information, but today students have a wide source of information, so teachers are no longer important in the modern education. Do you agree or disagree?