IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that traditional customs and cultural practices should be preserved, while others argue that modernization has made them outdated and unnecessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today’s non-stop evolution of society, traditions and customs are being replaced with contemporary habits and ways of living. Some people argue that essential cultural elements
such
Linking Words
 as traditional attires and ancient customs are no longer necessary and should be modernised,
while
Linking Words
 others want to preserve these and elevate them as cultural heritage and part of cultural identity. From my point of view, I totally agree that the community should strive to defend their cultural heritage. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain the stated notion before my viewpoint. On the one hand, there are plenty of ancient civilizations that share millenary customs that contribute meaningful values to nowadays society. From visual elements
such
Linking Words
 as clothing, handicrafts, cuisine, and art, to essential wisdoms like medicine and beliefs, cultural diversity enriches our daily living. For that reason, the government should create programs to raise awareness about preserving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ancestral traditions and protect groups that are still part of these crowds.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 some people support multiculturalism, others refuse to practice their knowledge and assume these are old and irrelevant.
However
Linking Words
, I am of the idea that
this
Linking Words
 folklore should be protected and shared throughout the world. By doing
this
Linking Words
 action, the population can take advantage of valuable multicultural takeaways and enrich their lives.
For example
Linking Words
, Mexico, a country with plenty of ancient cultures
such
Linking Words
 as the Mayas, Aztecaz and Olmecas, has a culture program that permeates the world with significant advertisements that highlight particular destinations to be visited, by implementing
this
Linking Words
 action the country ensures millions of visitors that enjoy meeting the local culture.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 some people labelled civilizations as outdated and unnecessary, others can see the importance of their preservation. Not only do cultures instil tons of vibrant
colors
Change the spelling
colours
show examples
 and extraordinary units
such
Linking Words
 as food, attires and beliefs, but
also
Linking Words
 these can enrich our knowledge and be part of our daily living.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Expand on your main points with more specific examples or explanations to support your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Consider linking your ideas more smoothly to improve the overall flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a clear position on the topic and follows a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You highlighted the importance of cultural heritage and provided a relevant example of Mexico's cultural programs, which helps to illustrate your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: