Some people say young people should be encouraged to leave their family when they become adults while some argue they should live for a longer time with their family. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There is no denying the fact that children should live with their parents and
this
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is a crucial thing to grow healthy and for their mentally stable.
however
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, there is an argument saying that kids must leave their family house for many reasons,
while
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others want them to stay even when they become adults.
This
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essay will analyse
this
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topic from both points of view and express my opinion in the end. First of all, there are several factors why they want the kids to leave their mom and dad's home, one of the major factors is the experience, when our young men and young women finish teenage.
In other words
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, they must leave the house to build their own legacy and to become heroes in their stores. Another reason could be rising a child is too expensive these days, and when they get older it starts getting hard for the parents to afford them, especially if they are not working or do not have a job.
On the other hand
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, when it comes to the other side, they claim that there is always a place for our boys and girls in their family house no matter if they are young or adults.
For instance
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, when a person has the freedom to leave or stay, that will make him
as a result
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grow healthy with no fairness. And I think
this
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is the best thing you can do for your child. In conclusion. there are no easy answers to
this
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question. In balance,
nevertheless
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, I tend to believe that, kids should always have the ability to come to their original home with no worries they will kicked out, and it will improve their sense of safety when everything gets ruined, they have a place to go back to every time everywhere.
Submitted by sdam7843 on

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Consider using linking words to achieve this.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
complete response
Both views are addressed, showing your understanding of the topic and demonstrating balance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster independence
  • personal responsibility
  • financial management
  • time management
  • decision-making
  • higher education
  • career opportunities
  • cultural exposure
  • personal growth
  • world view
  • affordable living
  • financial relief
  • emotional support
  • family bonds
  • close-knit cultures
  • delayed autonomy
  • dependence
  • daily decision-making
  • economic support
  • supportive environment
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