IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people claim that the government should provide free health care. Others think that the government will not provide the most innovative methods of treatment and it’s better to invest those funds in education and culture. What is your opinion?

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The authorities should prioritize providing cost-free medical services with advanced treatment methods to citizens, which was always been debatable and has now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial
while
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 others reject
this
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 notion. The substantial influence of
this
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 trend has sparked controversy over its potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, free health care services should be the government's first priority to fulfil the basic necessities of people. There are myriad reasons which will explain
this
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 argument, but the most preponderant one stems from the fact that cost-free diagnostics policies promote healthier lifestyles among people, and regular and advanced treatment facilities suppress normal flu and the deadliest viruses. Another striking benefit in
this
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 regard is that free medical enhancement emphasizes the financial burden on the families, and everyone is able to afford expensive hospital surgeries
such
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 as
,
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apply
show examples
 heart, kidney and liver transplants. Categorically discussed, it can not be ignored that
this
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 implementation not only secures physical health challenges but
also
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 suppresses mental fitness problems ,including stress, anxiety and depression. On second thought, a couple of reasons drive us to consider the opposite notion as well, alleviating other sectors is
also
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 the essential duty of government, and improving educational and cultural infrastructure ensures the
overall
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 growth of the nation. Correspondingly , academic empowerment fulfil independent job criteria and accelerates socio-economical stability,
whereas
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, cultural and traditional promotion is linked attention of visitors and increases tourism To recapitulate,
according to
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 the arguments and aforementioned, one reaches the conclusion that the benefits of providing free health care by the government are indeed too great.
Nevertheless
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, the potential need for other sectors' improvement
such
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 as education and culture should not be overlooked either.

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task achievement
Clarify your main argument in the introduction to make it more precise. Ensure the thesis statement directly addresses the question.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between your ideas, such as 'Moreover', 'On the other hand', and 'In addition'.
task achievement
Provide specific examples for your points. For instance, mentioning specific countries or healthcare models can strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a balanced view by acknowledging both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets up the debate about healthcare and government priorities.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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