IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Công Thành

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In
social modern
Replace the word
society
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,some people believe that
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 of regular physical activity
is
Change the verb form
are
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 necessary for maintaining good health other hand a
balance
Change the verb form
balanced
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
 is more crucial . Discuss 2 views before
give
Change the verb form
giving
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 my opinion
One
Change preposition
On one
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 hand , regular
exercise
Use synonyms
 is
high
Replace the word
highly
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 beneficial for health and spirit .
Example
Change preposition
For example
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 walking,climbing, jogging, swimming and
play
Wrong verb form
playing
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 soccer ,
pickleballs
Correct word choice
and pickleballs
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 increase strength and muscle .
In addition
Linking Words
, playing sports helps us feel happy and comfortable, helps us be positive, reduces stress and feels full of energy in daily life.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand , a balanced
diet
Use synonyms
 is a good solution
helps
Correct pronoun usage
that helps
show examples
 increase health
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for people with little free time . Food provides us with nutrients
such
Linking Words
 as vitamins a, b, c, d, and protein.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, maintaining healthy eating habits can control weight and improve body shape, even without regular
exercise
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, both
diet
Use synonyms
 and
exercise
Use synonyms
 play an important role in maintaining a healthy body.
Diet
Use synonyms
 provides the necessary energy and nutrients,
while
Linking Words
exercise
Use synonyms
 helps the body use these nutrients effectively.
Finally
Linking Words
 , both perspectives above are correct. For me, eating a healthy
diet
Use synonyms
 is more important.

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grammar
Rephrase your introduction to ensure grammatical accuracy and clarity. For example, "In modern society, some people believe that regular physical activity is essential for maintaining good health, while others argue that a balanced diet is more important."
cohesion
Use linking words (e.g., 'On one hand,' 'On the other hand') more consistently to strengthen the connection between your ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. Instead of general activities, you might mention studies or statistics that highlight the benefits of exercise or nutrition.
content
You have addressed both views clearly in your essay, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
content
Your personal opinion is clearly stated, which is important for the task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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