IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Public transport should be funded by the government so that it can be free for people who use it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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These days,
transportation
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 is always a concerning trend
to
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in
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 most countries in the world.
Therefore
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, it is often argued that the
government
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 should allocate the budget to
transportation
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 in order to let
people
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 use it free of charge. Personally, I do not advocate
this
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 notion and in
this
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 essay, I will explain my reason. On the one hand, it is understandable why
people
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 would love to have free access to public
transportation
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.
To begin
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 with, using individual
vehicles
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such
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 as cars and motorbikes could have a huge negative impact on the environment
due to
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 the polluted emission that was exhausted from those
vehicles
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.
Secondly
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, unexpected accidents would happen not only because of the
behavior
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behaviour
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 of the drivers
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 the number of commuters using private
transportation
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.
As a result
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, if many
people
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 traverse by public
vehicles
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, all the problems about the environment
as well as
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 the traffic accidents would be lessened considerably.
On the other hand
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, the requirement for the
government
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 to give free public
transportation
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 might be unfeasible
due to
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 several reasons. To commence, it is obvious that in order to meet the demand of the citizens, the
government
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 has to invest a huge amount of state money in operating public
transportation
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 every day.
However
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,
this
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 approach would not
last
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 long, as the budget would dwindle swiftly.
Moreover
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, the
government
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 needs taxes from
people
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 to remain sustainable.
Therefore
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, it would be impractical for the
government
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 to invest in free public transport. In conclusion,
although
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 it could have certain detriments for
people
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 to use private
vehicles
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, it would be impossible for the
government
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 to cut all costs for public
transportation
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.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or data to support your arguments. For instance, you could mention cities that have successfully implemented free public transport and the results of such initiatives.
coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow between your points. For example, use more linking phrases to connect your sentences and paragraphs more smoothly, which can improve the overall coherence.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the issue, with a well-defined introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is generally logical, with separate paragraphs for different points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • subsidize
  • sustainability
  • commuters
  • congestion
  • infrastructure
  • accommodate
  • equitable access
  • public transportation system
  • allocating resources
  • financial burden
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