IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

The plans below show a public Park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #park #first #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The diagram illustrates the public park originally established in 1920 and the same park today.
Additionally
, it shows the difference between the postcard and nowadays.
Overall
, Grand the state was in 1920 and today are almost the same but the major difference is the stage changed to an amphitheatre and the minor change fountain has been replaced by a red backyard.
However
, the garden in 1920 had two entrances, it is the same today
along with
 an additional entrance present for the Underground car place. In the middle of the backyard fountain was present which is now replaced by a rose field and surrounded by seats for people on four sides.
In addition
, on the left side of the red field stage was there for musicians and seats present for individuals but now the amphitheatre is there for concerts which have one side of the red field, and in front of the theatre seats are available for people listening to music and enjoying the fragrance of roses.
Moreover
, in 1920 near the entrance from Arnold Avenue on the left-hand Rose Plants was situated now Cafe is open for the locality
besides
this
, ponds were there for water plants but in the current scenario play area is built for the children, and the glass house is replaced by a water feature which is a beautiful picture of the lawn.
Therefore
, the main point of the attraction is the amphitheatre for live concerts.
Submitted by psingh8059 on

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Introduction
Your introduction is clear and sets the scene well for your discussion. Consider providing a more detailed overview that summarizes the key changes without going into the specifics, which can be saved for the body paragraphs.
Coherence
You've organized your essay into clear, logical paragraphs, making it easy to follow. To enhance coherence, try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas.
Task Achievement
You've reported the main features effectively and made comparisons where relevant. To push your score higher, include more varied and precise vocabulary specifically related to changes and transformations in the park.
Task Achievement
You've successfully identified and compared the key changes that the park has undergone, which is central to the task.
Coherence
The structure of your essay, with clear paragraphs for each main point, aids in the overall readability and coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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