IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Students should pay full cost for their own study, because university education benefit individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people believe that the cost of study should be paid fully by the
college
Use synonyms
students
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 as the
university
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education
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 only benefits them rather than the
society
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 others think
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
otherwise
Linking Words
. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea. Despite the cost allocation for
university
Use synonyms
education
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, which
paid
Add a missing verb
is paid
show examples
 by the
government
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 may be potentially misplaced, I believe there are still a lot of potential young
students
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 who need to be supported by the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 to pay their
college
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 tuition
fees
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. In the present moment, it is evident that there are a lot of
college
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students
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 who do not deserve to receive
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
financial
support
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by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the
government
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,
such
Linking Words
 as
government
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scholarship
Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is because plenty
cases
Change preposition
of cases
show examples
 show that many
students
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, who received
university
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education
Use synonyms
support
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, are
laggard
Fix the agreement mistake
laggards
show examples
 in their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
university
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students
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, who
awarded
Add a missing verb
are awarded
show examples
 a scholarship, tend to be unmotivated during their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
, which
led
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
 to them
being dropped
Wrong verb form
dropping
show examples
 out
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
college
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.
This
Linking Words
 results in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial and opportunity losses by the
government
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, which already paid for
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
students
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’ tuition
fees
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 there are numerous brilliant
students
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which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 potentially will contribute to the nation and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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 in the future, they do not have sufficient finance to continue their
education
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 in
college
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, these
students
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 can not fully utilize their potential, which will lead to the minimum contribution from them to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 in the upcoming years.
For example
Linking Words
, the
government
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 should pay the educational
fees
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 for a poor farmer’s son, who has an exceptional
education
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 achievement during school as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher
education
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 allows them to sharpen and improve their knowledge and skills. Eventually, they will use their knowledge and skills to help and contribute to the
society
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. In conclusion, I partially agree that
students
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 should pay
full
Add an article
the full
show examples
 cost of their
university
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education
Use synonyms
fees
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 as there are many
students
Use synonyms
 who require financial
support
Use synonyms
 from the
government
Use synonyms
 to be able to contribute to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 in the future.
However
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 imperative to revisit whether
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
certain
students
Use synonyms
are really deserve
Change the verb form
really deserve
show examples
 to receive
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
financial
support
Use synonyms
 from the
government
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Consider clearly stating your position in the introduction to guide the reader regarding your agreement or disagreement with the statement.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, and use topic sentences to introduce and summarize the content.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your points, which can strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by stating both sides of the argument, which demonstrates critical thinking.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main point and restates your position, providing a clear end to your argument.
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