IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

the pictures show information about average income and spending on food and clothes by an average family in a city in the UK.

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A glance at the chart and table reveals data about the average income and
expenditure
Use synonyms
 on clothes and food by a normal family in a specific city for 3 years in the UK. The initial impression from the table is that even though the average income saw a decline, there was
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 increase in
expenditure
Use synonyms
. First of all, in 2010 spending money
ofn
Correct your spelling
of
on
 fruit and vegetables was the highest at 26%,
then
Linking Words
, it saw a negligible increase to 30%.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the proportion of dairy products climbed from 12% to 16% in 2013. Meanwhile, there was a considerable downward trend in the percentage of meat and fish from 29% to 23% in 2013.
Similarly
Linking Words
, clothes experienced a reduction in the figure, dropping from 15% to 13% in 2010. It is interesting to note that, the rate of other food remained stable at 18% throughout the period, indicating that the only one
expenditure
Use synonyms
 that did not feel an upward and downward trend. Looking at the details, as regards average income, it started from 29000 in 2010
then
Linking Words
 there was a marked fall to 25000,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
expenditure
Use synonyms
 on food and clothes climbed from 14000 to 15000 in 2013

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task achievement
Ensure that you articulate your main points more clearly and support them with relevant data from the visual representation.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and typo errors, such as 'ofn' instead of 'on', and ensure that you proofread your work for clarity and accuracy.
coherence and cohesion
Although you provided some comparisons, aim for more logical transitions between your points to enhance the flow of the essay.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the context for the data being presented, which is a strong start for your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average income
  • spending habits
  • proportion
  • cost of living
  • economic changes
  • cultural factors
  • standard of living
  • economic health
  • leftover income
  • savings
  • expenses
  • financial trends
  • value for money
  • economic forecasts
  • significant increase/decrease
  • spending patterns
What to do next:
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