IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People often find it difficult to adapt to new situations in their lives. Why do you think this is? Whay measures can you suggest to make it easier

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In
the
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apply
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moden
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modern
 society, individuals are often making changes as they move into new phases of their lives.
However
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, some
people
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 find themselves having a difficult time adjusting to
the
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a
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 different environment. In my opinion,
fear
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 is one of the most significant
barrier
Change to a plural noun
barriers
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for
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to
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pleasant
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a pleasant
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 transition and only by staying
postive
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positive
 can they blend into the new situations as soon as possible.
People
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 are afraid of making changes since the consequences and outcomes can be unpredictable. Numerous
people
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 are concerned and reluctant to move out of their comfort zone because they are worried about the potential negative impacts of their choices. In
addtion
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addition
, when the
fear
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 and stress are overwhelming for
people
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, they are not able to adapt to new surroundings effectively.
For example
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, about 50% of the newly hired employees indicated that
fear
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 and
stressd
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stress
stressed
 impacted their
work ability
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workability
show examples
, resulting in unsatisfactory performance from the starting point of their new job. Encouraging
people
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 to form a
postive
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positive
 mindset can be an effective way in helping
people
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 to navigate themselves in unfamiliar situations. A positive mindset can boost individuals' confidence,
espcially
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especially
 during challenging scenarios. With confidence,
people
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 view challenges as learning opportunities rather than threats, leading to better performance and greater potential. Plus,
people
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 who are confident tend to connect with others faster,
therefore
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, with
the
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apply
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encouragement from their friends, the transition can happen smoothly and steadily.
To conclude
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, it is common for
people
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 to adjust to new situations and
fear
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 is one of the major reasons for it,
however
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, a positive mindset can increase confidence and make the adaptation smoother.

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task achievement
Try to provide more detailed examples or evidence to back up your points, particularly in the introduction and second body paragraph.
task achievement
Ensure that your main points are supported with clear, relevant examples. This can enhance the overall clarity and persuasion of your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving the clarity of your writing by correcting small grammatical errors and typos, as these can distract from the overall message.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use precise language and avoid ambiguity, especially when describing your ideas or arguments.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear understanding of the difficulties people face when adjusting to new situations and provides a feasible solution to it.
coherence and cohesion
There is a logical flow in your argumentation, moving from the problem (fear) to its potential solution (positive mindset).

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Adaptation
  • Anxiety
  • Resistance
  • Cultural barriers
  • Self-efficacy
  • Stress management
  • Gradual exposure
  • Open-mindedness
  • Support network
  • Skill-building
  • Mindfulness
  • Meditation
  • Routine
  • Confidence
  • Environmental barriers
What to do next:
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