Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the Internet and they can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is sometimes said that educational establishments are not needed in the modern world since
children
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are able to receive all the information from the Internet, so they can be taught
while
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staying at
home
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. Personally, I do not agree with
this
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position for two principal reasons.
Firstly
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, despite the fact that all the studying materials might be gotten easily in one
klick
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click
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, parents, usually, are not educated appropriately to present them to their offspring in
a
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the
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right way. Moms and dads might, possibly, be experts in different fields, but they are not teachers.
Home
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education can lead to
the
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apply
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situations when
children
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cannot assimilate all the information because their family members do not have the specific tools required for studies. Students,
for instance
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, might not understand how to solve some
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problems
as a result
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of the wrong explanations by their nearest and dearest.
Therefore
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, schools are part and parcel of efficient studies.
In addition
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, being at school, boys and girls can get a vital experience which is not available at
home
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.
This
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is because
such
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places ensure them with constant interaction with their classmates,
as well as
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with teachers which, in turn, is beneficial for their future adaptation in their life paths.
For example
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, if to deprive
children
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of the opportunity to have face-to-face lessons,
it
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apply
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might cause difficulties in cooperation with their coworkers in their workplaces in the future.
Hence
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, studying at specific educational facilities
have
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has
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a crucial role in the student's socialisation. In conclusion,
although
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nowadays there are huge
amount
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amounts
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of educational materials online, schools cannot be neglected as moms and dads, quite often, do not have
appropriate
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the appropriate
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education to present the information effectively,
as well as
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studying in specific educational places
enable
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enables
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children
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with a vital experience which is not possible at
home
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.

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Consider expanding on your main points further to enhance the clarity and depth of your ideas. Providing more specific examples could strengthen your argument significantly.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the flow of your essay by using a wider range of cohesive devices to link your ideas. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, establishing a clear stance from the outset.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with each paragraph clearly focusing on a distinct idea relevant to the main argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • social development
  • fostering communication
  • personalized guidance
  • immediate feedback
  • replicated
  • structured environments
  • discipline
  • time management skills
  • extracurricular activities
  • nurture talents
  • inculcate
  • sense of community
  • shared learning experiences
  • equal access
  • learning opportunities
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