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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that nuclear weapon is the solution to world peace. Others, however, think that they only cause conflicts. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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The issue of some people believe that nuclear weapon is the
solution
Use synonyms
 to world peace. Others,
however
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, think that they only cause conflicts. as become a highly debated topic in recent years.
While
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 some argue that [opposing argument], others maintain that [main argument] is a more beneficial and sustainable
solution
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay will examine both sides and argue why I strongly believe that [your opinion] is the most effective approach. A key reason why [main argument] is crucial is its long-term impact on [specific area, e.g., economic development, social stability, environmental protection]. Research has shown that countries that focus on [main argument] tend to experience greater [positive outcome], which ultimately contributes to [additional benefit].
For instance
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, in [real-world example],
this
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 approach has led to remarkable progress in [specific field], demonstrating its effectiveness and sustainability.
Moreover
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,
this
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 strategy provides long-term advantages for future generations, making it an essential and prudent choice for modern societies.
However
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, some critics argue that [opposing argument], emphasizing the potential risks of [negative effect].
While
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this
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 concern is not without merit, these challenges can be mitigated with the right strategies,
such
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 as [policy,
solution
Use synonyms
, or approach]. Governments and organizations can introduce measures to reduce the negative impacts, ensuring that the benefits of [main argument] are maximized.
Therefore
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, despite the valid concerns regarding [opposing argument], it does not outweigh the positive outcomes associated with [main argument]. In conclusion,
while
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 both perspectives on [topic] offer valid points, the advantages of [main argument] are far more compelling. By implementing effective policies and strategies, societies can capitalize on its benefits
while
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 minimizing potential drawbacks.
As a result
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, [main argument] stands as the most beneficial
solution
Use synonyms
 to some people
believe
Correct pronoun usage
who believe
show examples
 that nuclear weapon is the
solution
Use synonyms
 to world peace. Others,
however
Linking Words
, think that they only cause conflicts.

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Task Achievement
The introduction needs a clearer presentation of the topic and the specific arguments you plan to discuss. Ensure that you briefly mention nuclear weapons as a potential solution and also as a source of conflict.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples and contexts to explain both arguments more clearly. For instance, instead of using placeholders, provide detailed examples that relate directly to the nuclear weapons discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay by outlining how each paragraph connects to the main question. Ensure your points build on one another cohesively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates back to the thesis. This will help guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
Content
The essay outlines both viewpoints, which is essential for discussing a complex issue such as nuclear weapons and world peace.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your structure is clear and the progression of ideas is evident, making it easier for the reader to follow the discussion.
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