Increasing numbers of students are going to university instead of working after school. Advantages and disadvantages?

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Increasing numbers of students are going to university
instead
Linking Words
of working after high school. Disadvantages/ advantages. It is undeniably true that the importance of education is terrific to set the foundation of children's
career
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careers
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. Some people assert that pupils should choose to go to college rather than
choosing
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choose
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employment.
This
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phenomenon has multifarious benefits,
however
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, sometimes a couple of problems emerge
due to
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the same.
This
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essay will cast a light on both the pros and cons of
this
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argument.
On
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At
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the onset, there are scores of advantages of getting a gap before starting university. One of the conspicuous
once
Correct your spelling
ones
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is that by taking a gap in their study learners get a chance to know what really suits
on
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apply
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them or their interested area of
work
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, A Newyork Times Poll revealed that 30% of medical students at Harvard University admitted that they chose
this
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field after
experienced
Wrong verb form
experiencing
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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voluntary
work
Use synonyms
in
the
Correct article usage
a
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foreign country after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school.
Moreover
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, scholars not only time have time to relax and explore but
also
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, they can do some part-time jobs and collect money for their
further
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study. Needless to say, all these benefits stand students in good stead as far as their development is concerned.
Conversely
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, some people in general tend to distinguish that
this
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action can lead to tutees towards unemployment. Undoubtedly a
scarce
Replace the word
scarcity
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in employment is increasing nowadays. Many undergraduates have to compete among themselves to get a job. Those delaying the study might lose some good opportunities in that case.
Additionally
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, mentees would not get exposure
of
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to
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the
real-world
Correct your spelling
real world
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. They will not meet new people, take challenges and learn
work
Use synonyms
ethics. Owing to
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
, they will be less confident in future in their
work
Use synonyms
field. In the view of arguments outlined above, one can assertively conclude that
albeit
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although
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starting graduation after school has many drawbacks, still it has many benefits as it helps
to
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apply
show examples
undergraduates to recognize
Correct pronoun usage
their interested
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interested
Replace the word
interest
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filed
Correct your spelling
field
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of their
work
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Consider providing a clearer thesis statement in the introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your examples, as some points could benefit from additional detail or explanation.
task achievement
You have successfully identified both advantages and disadvantages of going to university after high school, which shows a balanced perspective on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, making it easy to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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