Increasing numbers of students are going to university instead of working after school. Advantages and disadvantages?

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Increasing numbers of students are going to university

instead

Linking Words

of working after high school. Disadvantages/ advantages. It is undeniably true that the importance of education is terrific to set the foundation of children's

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

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. Some people assert that pupils should choose to go to college rather than

choosing

Wrong verb form

choose

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employment.

This

Linking Words

phenomenon has multifarious benefits,

however

Linking Words

, sometimes a couple of problems emerge

due to

Linking Words

the same.

This

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essay will cast a light on both the pros and cons of

this

Linking Words

argument.

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the onset, there are scores of advantages of getting a gap before starting university. One of the conspicuous

once

Correct your spelling

ones

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is that by taking a gap in their study learners get a chance to know what really suits

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apply

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them or their interested area of

work

Use synonyms

For example

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, A Newyork Times Poll revealed that 30% of medical students at Harvard University admitted that they chose

this

Linking Words

field after

experienced

Wrong verb form

experiencing

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

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voluntary

work

Use synonyms

the

Correct article usage

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foreign country after

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

school.

Moreover

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, scholars not only time have time to relax and explore but

also

Linking Words

, they can do some part-time jobs and collect money for their

further

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study. Needless to say, all these benefits stand students in good stead as far as their development is concerned.

Conversely

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, some people in general tend to distinguish that

this

Linking Words

action can lead to tutees towards unemployment. Undoubtedly a

scarce

Replace the word

scarcity

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in employment is increasing nowadays. Many undergraduates have to compete among themselves to get a job. Those delaying the study might lose some good opportunities in that case.

Additionally

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, mentees would not get exposure

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show examples

the

real-world

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real world

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. They will not meet new people, take challenges and learn

work

Use synonyms

ethics. Owing to

which

Correct pronoun usage

this

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, they will be less confident in future in their

work

Use synonyms

field. In the view of arguments outlined above, one can assertively conclude that

albeit

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although

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starting graduation after school has many drawbacks, still it has many benefits as it helps

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apply

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undergraduates to recognize

Correct pronoun usage

their interested

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interested

Replace the word

interest

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filed

Correct your spelling

field

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of their

work

Use synonyms

behgalneha727Sun Feb 09 2025

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task achievement

Consider providing a clearer thesis statement in the introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to use more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.

task achievement

Try to elaborate more on your examples, as some points could benefit from additional detail or explanation.

task achievement

You have successfully identified both advantages and disadvantages of going to university after high school, which shows a balanced perspective on the topic.

coherence and cohesion

The essay presents a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, making it easy to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

323 words

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Increasing numbers of students are going to university instead of working after school. Advantages and disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that Olympic games are exciting event that brings other nations together. Others say Olympics expensive waste of money that would be better spent on other things. Discuss both these points of view and give your own opinion.

Some people think that children should be taught at school how to become good parents. Other thinks it is not a good idea Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining.Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about his problem?