some people say that all people should stay in full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. to what do you extent do you agree or disagree?
the majority of people said that students are at least 18 years old and spend all their time studying . I agree with
this
statement and my reason is in the following essay.
first of all, students in Asia countries always have a high school graduation exam and if they want to get a good job, they just study hard to go to top-tier institutions which school can make them gain more knowledge and opportunities in more top of the company in the country . they do not like their offspring will work hard when they do not go to a good educational institution or college, they just want them to have a good future. For example
, more families want their offspring to have good jobs so that when they are little , the adults allow them to spend time in extra classes and impose discipline on them. because preparing for beginners has a big effect on their future.
by contrast
, studying too much can make them become disorder their knowledge and day by day they get stress and pressure. more parents focus on their scores put pressure on students and make streets for them to concentrate on without their dreams. although
it is good for the children , having studied for 12 years in their life they should be tired and bored in education.therefore
, more situation of teenagers out of college or academy more and more increasing. For instance
, some teenagers choose to leave the academy or college early because the lessons do not fit in with them and do get a job to work in the company, for a long time they will gain more experience but they do not grow up than the adults have a good academy degree.
in conclusion, I think the environment of education has a big effect on their growth in the future. therefore
, I believe that adults should take care of their offspring and treat them in good conditions.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Grammar
Improve grammatical accuracy by reducing the number of errors; this will make your essay clearer and easier to understand.
Content
Work on expanding the ideas more thoroughly in each paragraph. Try to add additional supporting sentences or examples for better elaboration.
Vocabulary
Use more advanced vocabulary and varied sentence structures to improve readability and engage the readers more effectively.
Introduction
Your introduction sets the context well for the essay, clearly stating your opinion.
Examples
You have provided relevant examples to support your main points, which is excellent for proving your argument.
Structure
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This structure helps in better understanding and flow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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