some people say that all people should stay in full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. to what do you extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

the majority of people said that students are at least 18 years old and spend all their time studying . I agree with

this

Linking Words

statement and my reason is in the following essay. first of all, students in Asia countries always have a high school graduation exam and if they want to get a good job, they just study hard to go to top-tier institutions which school can make them gain more knowledge and opportunities in more top of the company in the country . they do not like their offspring will work hard when they do not go to a good educational institution or college, they just want them to have a good future.

For example

Linking Words

, more families want their offspring to have good jobs so that when they are little , the adults allow them to spend time in extra classes and impose discipline on them. because preparing for beginners has a big effect on their future.

by contrast

Linking Words

, studying too much can make them become disorder their knowledge and day by day they get stress and pressure. more parents focus on their scores put pressure on students and make streets for them to concentrate on without their dreams.

although

Linking Words

it is good for the children , having studied for 12 years in their life they should be tired and bored in education.

therefore

Linking Words

, more situation of teenagers out of college or academy more and more increasing.

For instance

Linking Words

, some teenagers choose to leave the academy or college early because the lessons do not fit in with them and do get a job to work in the company, for a long time they will gain more experience but they do not grow up than the adults have a good academy degree. in conclusion, I think the environment of education has a big effect on their growth in the future.

therefore

Linking Words

, I believe that adults should take care of their offspring and treat them in good conditions.

Tue Jun 04 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar

Improve grammatical accuracy by reducing the number of errors; this will make your essay clearer and easier to understand.

Content

Work on expanding the ideas more thoroughly in each paragraph. Try to add additional supporting sentences or examples for better elaboration.

Vocabulary

Use more advanced vocabulary and varied sentence structures to improve readability and engage the readers more effectively.

Introduction

Your introduction sets the context well for the essay, clearly stating your opinion.

Examples

You have provided relevant examples to support your main points, which is excellent for proving your argument.

Structure

The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This structure helps in better understanding and flow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

330 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

comprehensive education
intellectual growth
emotional growth
social growth
evolving job market
specialized knowledge
extended education
reducing inequality
essential competencies
vocational training
economic impact
financial constraints
infrastructure
stress and burnout
personal aspirations
career aspirations

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
In most successful organizations, some people believe that communications between managers and workers is important, other people said that other factors are more important. What is your opinion?
A lot of millennials believe that exchange of ideas between superiors and employees play a vital role, whilst other advocate that many other factors are also important for organizations success. I will shed light on both views and put forth my opinion on the matter.
5.5
band
In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be dirverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the adventages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?
With the thriving development of technology, there is a revolutionary impact on transport. All the vehicles such as cars, buses and trucks will be driven automatically. Although some people argue that driverless transportation may lead to some adverse effects, I consider that there are more benefits for the community than drawbacks.
7
band
Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best road to a success career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Having a job in small age gives one better experience and knowledge about a particular field individual. Myriad people think that getting a degree from a college or university is an appropriate option for undergraduates to achieve success in their lives. Meanwhile, others think that humans have to start their jobs after completing school. In my perspective, getting an education from a university is the best option for a successful career.
<4
band
Some people believe that dangerous sports should be banned to what extent you agree or disagree
The majority of people believe that high-risk sports are very dangerous. It should be illogical from my perspective. This sport young generation can bad affect. I totally agree with this and I will discuss it.
<4
band
When facing a difficult challenge or topic in school, students may respond in a variety of ways. Do you think that persistence is always the best way to deal with academic difficulties? Why or why not?
From my point of view, When students face a difficult challenge in school they may respond in a variety of ways and I think this is the best way to deal with such situations.

some people say that all people should stay in full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. to what do you extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In most successful organizations, some people believe that communications between managers and workers is important, other people said that other factors are more important. What is your opinion?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be dirverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the adventages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best road to a success career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that dangerous sports should be banned to what extent you agree or disagree

When facing a difficult challenge or topic in school, students may respond in a variety of ways. Do you think that persistence is always the best way to deal with academic difficulties? Why or why not?