For more and more people, wearing fashionable clothes has become very important. Is this attitude to wearing fashionable clothes a positive or a negative development?

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Nowadays,
a
Change the article
the
show examples
number of
people
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who
wearing
Change the form of the verb
wear
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fashionable
clothes
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has increased and wearing fashionable
clothes
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has become important. Many
people
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think
that is
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a positive development.
Other
Fix the agreement mistake
Others
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argue
that is
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a negative development.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss both opinions and provide my own opinion and reasons why I consider
that
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
To begin
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with, wearing fashionable
clothes
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has become important. And I agree with that attitude. Many
people
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believe that wearing fashionable outfits will be on trend all the time. It
also
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has many
significant
Replace the word
significance
show examples
.
For example
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, If I wear fashionable
clothes
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, I will be on trend and it makes me more confident.
In addition
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, wearing fashionable
clothes
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is negative.
For example
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,
People
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who wear fashionable
clothes
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will be on trend and change their
clothes
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many times. They will spend too much money for that reason. In conclusion, in my opinion, both can be either positive or negative. It depends on the person.
For example
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, I will wear fashionable
clothes
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, if I have
some
Correct determiner usage
an
show examples
interview or go out because it makes me confident but I do not spend too much money on that

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Task Achievement
Your introduction could be clearer in outlining your main argument more specifically. Also, ensure that you use the correct form of verbs, such as 'who are wearing' instead of 'who wearing'.
Task Achievement
Try to develop your ideas further; for example, explain why being fashionable can boost confidence and what implications it may have socially. Make sure to support your points with clearer examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improving your use of transition words would help the flow of your essay. Phrases like 'On one hand' or 'However' could help differentiate your points more sharply and create a clearer structure.
Coherence and Cohesion
Avoid starting sentences with 'And' or 'For example', as this tends to be informal for academic writing. Begin with a clear statement followed by examples or support.
Task Achievement
You have demonstrated a clear understanding of the topic and the different perspectives surrounding it.
Task Achievement
Your personal opinion adds a relatable touch to the essay, showing your engagement and investment in the subject matter.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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