Some people believe that governments should have access to people’s mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons. Others believe that this information is private and should not be available without permission. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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The debate over whether
governments
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should have
access
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to individuals' mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons is one that involves a delicate balance between personal
privacy
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and national
security
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. Both sides present compelling arguments. On the one hand, proponents of
government
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access
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to
such
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data argue that it is essential for maintaining public safety. In an age of rising terrorism and cybercrime,
security
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agencies often rely on communication data to prevent potential threats.
For example
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, law enforcement agencies can track criminal activity, uncover terrorist plots, or stop child exploitation by monitoring digital communication. The argument is that
such
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actions are necessary for protecting the well-being of citizens, and individuals who are not engaged in criminal activities have nothing to fear from
government
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surveillance
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. In
this
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context,
access
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to call records and messages is viewed as an effective tool for enhancing national
security
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.
On the other hand
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, opponents of
government
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surveillance
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argue that
access
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to personal communication without consent is a severe violation of
privacy
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. People have the right to communicate without fear of being watched or listened to. The idea of
privacy
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is fundamental to democratic societies, and eroding it could lead to a "Big Brother" state where citizens' freedoms are compromised.
Moreover
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, there are risks of misuse of
such
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information, as history has shown that
governments
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may abuse
surveillance
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powers, leading to the persecution of innocent people or the violation of basic civil liberties. The revelations about the National
Security
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Agency's (NSA) mass
surveillance
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programs in the United States,
for example
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, have sparked widespread concern about the overreach of
government
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powers. In my opinion,
while
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safety is undeniably important, the right to
privacy
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should not be compromised lightly.
Governments
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should only have
access
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to mobile records and messages under strict conditions and with proper judicial oversight.
This
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ensures that
surveillance
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is targeted, proportionate, and respectful of individuals' rights. In extreme cases, where there is a genuine threat to national
security
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,
such
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access
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may be justified, but it should always be carried out with caution and transparency. In conclusion,
while
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the need for
security
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is crucial, it should not come at the cost of eroding
privacy
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.
Governments
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must strike a balance, ensuring that any
access
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to personal data is carefully regulated and justifiable.

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task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets up the debate, but consider adding a clearer thesis statement that outlines your stance on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
While your points are well-structured, further linking phrases could enhance the flow between ideas, especially when transitioning between arguments.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen your argument, particularly regarding the misuse of surveillance information, which would provide a more comprehensive view.
positive
You present a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument effectively, which shows a good understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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