IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

To what extent do you agree or disagree that advertising manipulates consumers into making unnecessary purchases?

Advertising is a powerful tool used by companies to influence consumer
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
.
While
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 some argue that advertising simply provides information, I believe that it often manipulates
consumers
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 into making unnecessary purchases.
Firstly
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, advertisements create artificial needs by convincing people that they require products they would not have
otherwise
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 considered.
For instance
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, luxury brands promote the idea that their products enhance social status, leading individuals to buy expensive items even when they are not essential.
Secondly
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, advertising employs psychological tactics
such
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 as emotional appeal, celebrity endorsements, and limited-time offers to persuade
consumers
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. These strategies can make people feel compelled to buy things impulsively, often resulting in regret
afterward
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afterwards
show examples
.
However
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, it can be argued that
consumers
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 have free will and the ability to make informed decisions. Some advertisements genuinely help people discover useful products that improve their lives. In conclusion,
while
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 advertising can be informative, it frequently manipulates
consumers
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 into purchasing unnecessary items through persuasive techniques.
Therefore
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, I mostly agree that advertising has a manipulative effect on consumer

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task response
Consider refining your introduction to clearly outline your main argument. Perhaps state your position more strongly at the outset.
task response
While your arguments are well-presented, ensure that each main point is supported by more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly differentiate between the reasons why you believe advertising manipulates consumers and the counter-argument to create clearer cohesion in your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a balanced view by acknowledging the counter-argument, which demonstrates critical thinking.
task response
The use of examples, such as luxury brands creating artificial needs, enhances your argument and makes it relatable for the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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