IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Question. Happiness is considered very important in life,why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness. Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own knowledge and experiences.

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It should be acknowledged that
happiness
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 is the pursuit in almost everyone's life.
Happiness
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 as a feeling of human are perceived differently by different people.
However
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, there are several approaches for everyone to live happily.
To begin
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 with, the main reason why
happiness
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 is hard to define is that whether something makes someone happy or not is a subjective matter. To define
happiness
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 is equivalent to defining who we are and how we feel. People of different ages, occupations or social statuses have formed their own cognition towards the world.
Therefore
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, there is no method nor any necessity for a unified definition of
happiness
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.
For instance
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, it is commonly observed that there are individuals who enjoy the process of learning, exploring and solving problems
while
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 others would deem studying as being useless, boring and arduous.
Although
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 the standards of feeling happy vary among different persons, the following things are essential in terms of discovering one's unique
happiness
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.
Firstly
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, one needs to know him/herself well enough, to know the true desire in his/her subconsciousness.
Secondly
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, it is permitted to say no to certain things,
such
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 as a goal which is beyond reach, or the expectation from others
that is
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 not admitted by ourselves.
Finally
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, getting company from family, friends or the people we love perhaps is a great source of
happiness
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. In conclusion, the versatility of human characters results in different understandings of
happiness
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, but by finding out the common features in humanity, a path to
happiness
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 is open to everyone.

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task achievement
To improve your essay, try to incorporate more specific examples that relate both to personal experience and broader societal situations. This can help to add depth to your argument and make it more relatable.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-organized, consider expanding some sections for a deeper analysis. For instance, you could elaborate more on how self-knowledge and saying no to certain things can lead to happiness, with examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure with a good introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding the main points easily.
task achievement
It addresses the task well by discussing both why happiness is difficult to define and the factors important in achieving it.
task achievement
Good vocabulary and grammar with varied sentence structures, which enhance readability.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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