IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts show information concerning speed-camera use, together with statistics on road accidents, for the city of Melbourne. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts show information concerning speed-camera use, together with statistics on road accidents, for the city of Melbourne. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The charts illustrate
about
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the
number
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of speed
cameras
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 in Melbourne between 2002 and 2005,
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the statistics of road
accidents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 and deaths over the same
period
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
number
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of speed
cameras
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 in
molbourne
Correct your spelling
Melbourne

If you don’t want molbourne to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

increased
significatnly
Correct your spelling
significantly

If you don’t want significatnly to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

over the four-year
period
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Accidents
Change the noun form
Accident

Your sentence appears to use the incorrect form of Accidents. Consider changing it to singular.

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 rates
was
Change the verb form
were

The singular verb was does not appear to agree with the plural subject rates. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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 always higher than Death rates on Melbourne's road over the given
period
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Looking at the graphs in more detail, the
number
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of speed
cameras
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 slightly increased from 30 in 2000 to 40 in 2003,
following
Wrong verb form
followed

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb following. Consider changing it.

show examples
 by 70
cameras
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 in 2004. Notably, the
number
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of speed
cameras
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 stood at almost 150 in 2005, which was the highest
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number

It seems that numbers may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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among
Change preposition
between

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
 2002 and 2005. Turning to the remaining data sets, the rates of
accidents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 fluctuated around 3
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

percent
Change the spelling
per cent

The spelling of percent is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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 from 2002 to 2004,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage

It seems that percentages may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
 of deaths remained stable, under 1
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

percent
Change the spelling
per cent

The spelling of percent is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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 in the same
period
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Meanwhile, from 2004 to 2005, the
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage

It seems that percentages may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
 of
accidents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 increased gradually, which was almost 4
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

percent
Change the spelling
per cent

The spelling of percent is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
 in 2005, and the figures
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 death increased
significatnly
Correct your spelling
significantly

If you don’t want significatnly to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and dropped by above 1
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

percent
Change the spelling
per cent

The spelling of percent is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, cameras, accidents, period, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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