IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts show information concerning speed-camera use, together with statistics on road accidents, for the city of Melbourne. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts show information concerning speed-camera use, together with statistics on road accidents, for the city of Melbourne. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The charts illustrate
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
number
Use synonyms
 of speed
cameras
Use synonyms
 in Melbourne between 2002 and 2005,
as well as
Linking Words
 the statistics of road
accidents
Use synonyms
 and deaths over the same
period
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of speed
cameras
Use synonyms
 in
molbourne
Correct your spelling
Melbourne
 increased
significatnly
Correct your spelling
significantly
 over the four-year
period
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Accidents
Change the noun form
Accident
show examples
 rates
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 always higher than Death rates on Melbourne's road over the given
period
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. Looking at the graphs in more detail, the
number
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 of speed
cameras
Use synonyms
 slightly increased from 30 in 2000 to 40 in 2003,
following
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 by 70
cameras
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 in 2004. Notably, the
number
Use synonyms
 of speed
cameras
Use synonyms
 stood at almost 150 in 2005, which was the highest
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
among
Change preposition
between
show examples
 2002 and 2005. Turning to the remaining data sets, the rates of
accidents
Use synonyms
 fluctuated around 3
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 from 2002 to 2004,
while
Linking Words
 the
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
 of deaths remained stable, under 1
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the same
period
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, from 2004 to 2005, the
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
 of
accidents
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 increased gradually, which was almost 4
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2005, and the figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 death increased
significatnly
Correct your spelling
significantly
 and dropped by above 1
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, cameras, accidents, period, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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