IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts show the main reasons for migration to and from the Australia in 2010.

The pie charts show the main reasons for migration to and from the Australia in 2010.
The two pie charts illustrate the essential reasons for immigration to and emigration from
Australia
Use synonyms
 in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the primary purpose
both
Change preposition
of both
show examples
 immigration and emigration
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
finding
Change the verb form
to find
show examples
 definite jobs. Only a small proportion of
immigrants
Use synonyms
 came to
Australia
Use synonyms
 looking for a
job
Use synonyms
. A very
less
Fix the agreement mistake
low
show examples
 percentage of emigrants left the country for formal study. In terms of immigration, the largest proportion of people moved to
Australia
Use synonyms
 for a definite
job
Use synonyms
, at 38%.
Formal
Add an article
The formal
show examples
 study was in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place with 22%. Accompany/join made up 17% of
purpose
Correct article usage
the purpose
show examples
 among
immigrants
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, 13%
Use synonyms
immigrants
Change preposition
of immigrants
show examples
 came there for other reasons. One in ten people moved
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
to this
show examples
 country looking for
Use synonyms
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, emigrants left
Australia
Use synonyms
 for definite
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 amount of
immigrants
Use synonyms
, with 37%. Among the reasons other and looking for
Use synonyms
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
 were very close to each other
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 for 21% and 20%, respectively. The percentage of people who moved from
Australia
Use synonyms
 for formal study was ranked bottom, at 6%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, immigrants, job with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "moved" was used 3 times.
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