IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The exploration and development of safe alternative to fossil fuela should be the most important global priority today, to what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The discovery of fossil
fuels
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 marked a turning point in human civilization, driving technological progress and economic growth.
However
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, their negative impact on the environment and public
health
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 has become increasingly severe.
As a result
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, scientists and engineers worldwide have prioritized the search for safe, sustainable energy alternatives.
This
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 essay will discuss the urgent need to replace fossil
fuels
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due to
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 their environmental and
health
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 consequences. One of the most critical reasons for transitioning away from fossil
fuels
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 is their devastating impact on the environment. In recent years, the excessive burning of these
fuels
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 has led to an alarming rise in carbon dioxide (CO₂) emissions, disrupting the Earth's natural balance.
While
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 CO₂ is naturally present in the atmosphere, industrial activities have significantly increased its concentration, leading to severe climate changes.
For example
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, parts of the United States have experienced unprecedented heat waves exceeding 30°C, which were previously rare.
Such
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 extreme weather conditions contribute to natural disasters, habitat destruction, and rising sea levels, threatening both urban and rural communities. The longer fossil fuel consumption continues, the greater the damage to the planet.
In addition
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 to environmental harm, fossil fuel emissions pose a significant threat to human
health
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. Prolonged exposure to high levels of CO₂ and other pollutants can lead to serious respiratory diseases,
such
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 as asthma and chronic lung infections. The human body naturally expels CO₂ through breathing, but excessive amounts in the air reduce oxygen intake, leading to fatigue, dizziness, and long-term
health
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 complications. Those living in densely populated cities are especially vulnerable
due to
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 high pollution levels. Studies have shown that prolonged exposure to air pollution can decrease life expectancy and lower the
overall
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 quality of life. Without immediate action, public
health
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 will continue to deteriorate.
Although
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 fossil
fuels
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 have been a reliable energy source for centuries, their environmental and
health
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 risks far outweigh their benefits. Scientists and engineers are actively working to develop renewable energy solutions
such
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 as solar, wind, and hydroelectric power, which offer cleaner and more sustainable alternatives. Investing in these technologies is not only a necessity but
also
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 a crucial step toward securing a healthier and more sustainable future for generations to come.

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task achievement
Consider providing a counter-argument to show a balanced perspective. This could enhance your task response by addressing possible opposing views on the continued use of fossil fuels or the challenges in transitioning to alternative energy.
coherence and cohesion
Use more cohesive devices (linking words) to enhance the flow between ideas. Phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' and 'On the other hand' can help to connect your points more effectively, improving overall coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph includes a clear topic sentence that reflects the main idea of that paragraph. This will guide the reader and strengthen the structure of your essay.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the focus of the essay, effectively setting the stage for the main arguments.
task achievement
You present relevant examples that support your points regarding the environmental and health impacts of fossil fuels, demonstrating good understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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