IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people around the world use social media to keep in touch with other people and get the news. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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In recent decades,
throghout
Correct your spelling
throughout
 the
devoloping
Correct your spelling
developing
 and developed world, social
media
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as Facebook,
tictoc
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Tumblr
,
twiter
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twitter
, etc. have become wildly used not only to contact family and friends but
also
Linking Words
 to be up-to-date with the news.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 brings both opportunities and challenges, I strongly
belive
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believe
show examples
 that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
occurrance
Correct your spelling
occurrence
 far outweigh the disadvantages. Social
media
Use synonyms
's most significant benefit is that it helps people
connecting
Wrong verb form
connect
show examples
 with others in three ways: maintaining relationships with friends and family
accross
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across
 vast distances,
finding
Correct word choice
and finding
show examples
 communities with shared
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
 like
for example
Linking Words
, gardening, cooking,
baking
Correct word choice
and baking
show examples
. and building support networks for
differents
Correct your spelling
different
show examples
 situations, emotional or
healt
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health
 related
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
 example, stammering networking, new mums
networkings
Correct your spelling
networking
show examples
. where people going through the same process can share their personal
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
, support or what to
espect
Correct your spelling
expect
. Accessing information, because social
media
Use synonyms
 is so wildly spread and used, news or events can be reported
o
Correct your spelling
or
 shared instantly,
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 it a
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
 time information reporter.
for
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example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 it
was say
Change the verb form
was said
show examples
 that for the big fire
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Miami, users on Facebook
new
Correct your spelling
knew
show examples
 about it half an hour before it was reported on the
tv
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TV
show examples
 news.
However
Linking Words
, it
sould
Correct your spelling
should
could
 not be forgotten that the biggest challenge that can
be face
Change the verb form
be faced
show examples
 with
this
Linking Words
 development
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 addiction which can be managed with
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adequated
Replace the word
adequate
show examples
 control of
usege
Correct your spelling
the
 time and age
appropieted
Correct your spelling
appropriate
appropriated
 usage, specially for bulnerable stages of life
such
Linking Words
 as children and teenagers.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 social
media
Use synonyms
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great potential to be a positive development, it is
importad
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important
 to be
mindfull
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mindful
 of its possible downfall and practice healthy usage habits.

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Language
Ensure spelling and grammar are correct. For example, 'throghout' should be 'throughout', 'devoloping' should be 'developing', and 'tictoc' should be 'TikTok'.
Coherence
Try to create clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your ideas more effectively.
Task Achievement
Expand on some points with more specific examples or details to strengthen your arguments, such as specific demographics affected by addiction.
Task Achievement
You have a clear position that social media's advantages outweigh its disadvantages, which is well-articulated in the introduction.
Task Achievement
The points made about maintaining relationships and accessing information are relevant and timely, showing you understand the impact of social media.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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