Problems and solution of sharing information on the internet.

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One of the most noticeable trends of today's digital era is the way
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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share information on the
internet
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, thanks to the advancement in technology.
While
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it has numerous benefits
such
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as engagement and entertainment, it
also
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raises several consequences. The essay will present the major issues associated with the problem and suggest possible solutions to mitigate them. At the onset, there are a number of concerns caused by sharing information on social websites. The most considerable is the risk of privacy breaches. Many individuals unknowingly disclose their personal data on social media, making them vulnerable to cybercrimes
such
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as identity theft and financial fraud.
For example
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, hackers can misuse their personal details
such
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as phone numbers, bank credentials and addresses, leading to serious problems.
Moreover
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, another main concern is related to
spread
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the spread
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of misinformation.
Due to
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the lack of strict regulations on digital platforms, anyone can post any wrong or false content on digital media, which can create confusion and unnecessary stress among
nation
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the nation
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.
For instance
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, during COVID-19 many health advices had originated unnecessary fear among individuals.
However
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, to address
this
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problem some effective steps must be taken. The primary one is that society should practice responsible
internet
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use by avoiding oversharing data on the
internet
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and using strong privacy settings on social accounts.
Besides
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,
the
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apply
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governments should make data protection laws and enforce strict punishments for hackers.
Additionally
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, bodies should be digitally literate, which can
further
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help them to differentiate between credible and unreliable sources. In conclusion, from what has been discussed above I can conclude that
although
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several problems have been created with the advancements of the
internet
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such
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as privacy-break and fake news, still the authorities and citizens can minimize them by inculcating some daily practices of learning the
internet
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.

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task achievement
Try to provide a more comprehensive exploration of the issues related to the topic. Expanding on some points with more detail or examples would strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
While your essay follows a logical structure, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines the problems and solutions you will discuss, providing a good roadmap for the reader.
task achievement
You successfully included relevant examples, especially regarding misinformation during COVID-19, which adds credibility to your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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