IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many young people today leave school with a negative attitude towards learning. What is the reason, and what can be done to encourage a positive attitude to learning.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the past few years, there has been a debate about whether the education system is failing to keep students engaged in learning. Many young people leave school with negative attitudes toward education, seeing it as a burden rather than an opportunity.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the main causes of
this
Linking Words
 issue and suggest ways to encourage students to develop a more positive outlook on learning. First of all, the main reason is that
Academy
Replace the word
academic
show examples
lessons
Use synonyms
 can be very boring. Many educators focus on memorization
instead
Linking Words
 of making subjects interesting. If they do not see how their
lessons
Use synonyms
 connect to real life, like science, they can immediately lose motivation.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there is
also
Linking Words
 too much academic pressure on them. Many scholars feel stressed because they must get high grades to make their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 proud. Guardians and educators often expect them to do well, and
this
Linking Words
 pressure makes studying feel like a burden
instead
Linking Words
 of something enjoyable.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the Academy should include group projects, experiments, and real-world activities.
This
Linking Words
 makes the lesson more fun and can motivate them to learn more and enjoy the
lessons
Use synonyms
 too.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the instructor should help them to reduce stress and help them enjoy their studies. Parents and tutors should encourage scholars to do their best
instead
Linking Words
 of only caring about grades.
This
Linking Words
 can help the disciple to feel more confident and less afraid of failure. In conclusion, scholars may dislike learning because of boring
lessons
Use synonyms
, too much pressure, and teaching methods that do not suit everyone.
However
Linking Words
, making
lessons
Use synonyms
 fun, reducing stress, and allowing them to explore their interests can help them develop a more positive attitude toward studying.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or case studies to illustrate your points. This could strengthen the argument and make it more engaging.
coherence and cohesion
Try to provide more variety in sentence structure to improve the flow of ideas and enhance readability.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining the main ideas effectively.
task achievement
You have identified key issues leading to negative attitudes towards learning and provided practical solutions, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • negative attitude
  • learning environment
  • academic pressure
  • disinterest
  • curriculum
  • engagement
  • innovative teaching methods
  • project-based learning
  • digital literacy
  • mental health issues
  • support programs
  • real-world applications
  • long-term learning
  • student voice
  • holistic approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: