In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
The number of
people
residing in sub-urban areas
is declining in most countries as a result
of migration to urban areas
. Such
a phenomenon might happen for a number of reasons and can cause both advantages and disadvantages, especially to country’s
Correct article usage
the country’s
development
. This
essay will discuss reasons why this
case can be both positive and negative developments to some extent.
First,
there are several ways to see this
case as a positive development
, one of them is by looking from the rural people
’s point of view. These people
may see urbanization as a chance to increase their welfare level, the level they cannot gain in the countryside. Cities can provide them with more job options with higher payment
. Even the same jobs, Replace the word
pay
such
as healthcare workers, in the countryside are often being paid less than those in urban areas
.
However
, if we see it from the perspective of how they left rural areas
massively and permanently, it is just a matter of time before we see the negative development
out of it. There will not be a single issue out of this
phenomenon if these people
are only left temporarily to gain what they need, but residing permanently will make the cities over-populated. Overpopulation in a single area can cause issues, such
as a lack of housing areas
, a high rate of unemployment, etc.
In summary, migration of rural people
can be a positive development
to some extent but will cause some issues if it’s out of control. However
, we cannot prevent people
to want a better life. Therefore
, urbanization should be managed and limited by regulations. Instead
of letting the migration happen, the government should focus more on making them independent in their living areas
, without having to migrate.Submitted by azkalfath07 on
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task achievement
Expand on the specific examples provided to strengthen your argument. For instance, include statistical data or real-world examples to showcase the impact of urbanization on both rural and urban areas.
task achievement
Work on developing a more nuanced thesis statement that clearly outlines your stance on the development being either positive or negative. Provide a balanced view throughout your essay but ensure your conclusion aligns with your initial stance.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, aim to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly. Furthermore, consider organizing paragraphs so there's a clear progression of ideas from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
While your essay’s logical structure is well-maintained, including a brief outline of the main points in your introduction can help readers follow your argumentation more easily. Additionally, refining your conclusion to more explicitly reflect back on the essay’s key arguments will enhance its effectiveness.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?