IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people can buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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In that essay,
it
Correct pronoun usage
I
show examples
 will
be discussed
Wrong verb form
discuss
show examples
firstly
Linking Words
 about
countries
Use synonyms
lose
Wrong verb form
losing
show examples
 their individualism because of selling and sharing other
countries
Use synonyms
 their goods,
then
Linking Words
 added
tourists
Use synonyms
 choose
countries
Use synonyms
 that creating own products
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but don'
t
Use synonyms
 sell
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
other
Change preposition
to other
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
finally
Add a comma
finally,
show examples
 it will have negative development in the upcoming years.   Every
Use synonyms
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 own unique goods which most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 can'
t
Use synonyms
 get.
Linking Words
Due to it
Change preposition
It
show examples
 makes every
Use synonyms
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
individual
Correct article usage
an individual
show examples
, but when many
countries
Use synonyms
 buy these
resoures
Correct your spelling
resources
, some of them
losing
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
 their opportunities. Only
UAE
Correct article usage
the UAE
show examples
 had a
lot
Use synonyms
 of oil in their territories.
However
Linking Words
, when they started selling in 2002,
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
 of oil
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased and many
countries
Use synonyms
 got a
lot
Use synonyms
 of oil by spending a
few
Correct quantifier usage
little
show examples
 money. 
Countries
Use synonyms
, which don'
t
Use synonyms
 sell their product, get a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
tourists
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
while
Linking Words
tourists
Use synonyms
 are traveling, they prefer to buy special items.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 earn
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
money.
Also
Linking Words
, it can influence
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
economics and population in a positive way.
For example
Linking Words
, Turkey
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
tourists
Use synonyms
 over the world, because they don'
t
Use synonyms
 like selling some of their items in other
countries
Use synonyms
.  In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 essay
think
Change the verb form
thinks
show examples
 that it will affect in a negative way.

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coherence and cohesion
The introduction could be more clearly structured with a stronger thesis statement that outlines the main points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that it flows logically into the next.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points, as this will make your argument stronger and clearer.
task achievement
You have identified important points about individualism and tourism.
task achievement
Your conclusion summarizes your opinion well, indicating a clear position on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
What to do next:
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