In many cities, there are areas of land that are used as parks. With increasing population levels, these areas would be better used to provide more housing. Do you agree or disagree?

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In many towns, there are a lot of green
spaces
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that are used as
parks
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. Some believe that, as the population increases, these
areas
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should be repurposed for housing. I totally disagree with
this
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point, as
parks
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provide places for citizens to gather and socialize, and they are
also
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a vital source of oxygen in large
cities
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. First and
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furthermore
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foremost
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,
parks
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serve as important places for
people
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to gather, interact, and engage in social activities. In an era where space is often limited and
people
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are increasingly isolated from one another,
parks
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in urban
areas
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serve as social hubs that bring individuals together.
People
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of all ages, backgrounds, and lifestyles can meet in these public
spaces
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. Without these green
spaces
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,
cities
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risk becoming more isolated and less connected, as
people
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would have fewer opportunities to connect with others in an open, accessible environment.
For example
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, in my city, new
parks
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have been built, and the facilities they provide for both older
people
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and children are a great way to relax.
Second,
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parks
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provide significant environmental benefits, especially in large
cities
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where pollution levels can be high. They act as the lungs of the city, absorb carbon dioxide and
omit
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emit
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oxygen,
improv
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improve
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air quality. Green
spaces
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also
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help reduce the urban heat effect, the fact that
cities
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are significantly warmer than surrounding rural
areas
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due to
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the concentration of concrete and asphalt.
Parks
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provide a natural cooling effect, reducing the need for artificial air conditioning and making
cities
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more livable, especially during hot summer months. In conclusion, if
parks
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are replaced by residential buildings, the environmental consequences could be dire, leading to worsening air quality and rising temperatures in already congested
areas
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.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly states your disagreement, and your thesis is strong. However, you might want to expand on the implications of your arguments. For example, what would society lose if parks were converted into housing?
Coherence and Cohesion
While your points are well-structured, link your ideas together more cohesively to enhance flow. For example, use more transition phrases between and within paragraphs to guide the reader better.
Task Achievement
You provide thoughtful reasons to support your viewpoint, particularly in discussing social and environmental benefits of parks.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main arguments, reinforcing your stance against replacing parks with housing.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban landscape
  • green space
  • recreational opportunities
  • mental well-being
  • ecosystems
  • urban heat island effect
  • biodiversity
  • water management
  • housing shortages
  • residential development
  • accommodate
  • urban areas
  • population density
  • sustainable development
  • quality of life
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