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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reason for this? Do you think it is positive or negative development?

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One of the most prevalent discussions in society is free time because people spend a lot of time in
this
Linking Words
 section. Smartphones are a noticeable part of people’s pastime these days. In my opinion,
this
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 action has some negative results. In the following
paragraphs
Add a comma
paragraphs,
show examples
 I will explain why using smartphones leads to some unpleasant results. In the beginning, using
this
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 tool gives rise to mental illnesses, which means individuals become dependent on that, and
this
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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 causes families to separate from each other because when everyone is involved with Their cell phone, they unconsciously forget the needs of their partners, and the result is unbelievable.
For example
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, most
children
Use synonyms
 and even older people are amused by these devices for long hours
instead
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 of talking with each other.
Consequently
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, their emotions are suppressed day by day, and some arguments may be the reason at home. Regarding the negative aspects of
this
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 action, it can be mentioned that people’s activities may be reduced because a sedentary lifestyle leads to unpredictable results, especially for
children
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, during my childhood, in the summer, all the
children
Use synonyms
 gathered in an alley and got used to physical recreation.
This
Linking Words
 method helped them to enhance their abilities to know how they could do something with each other. In conclusion, smartphones play a crucial role in our daily lives, yet their eventual decline seems inevitable. Let's organize our free time with effective plans; in the long run, we can achieve positive outcomes.
Also
Linking Words
, these tools should be limited for
children
Use synonyms
 as a rule.

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task achievement
Expand on your main ideas with more detailed explanations and examples. This will enhance the clarity and comprehensibility of your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the flow of your essay by using more cohesive devices (linking words and phrases). This can help in connecting ideas and paragraphs more smoothly.
task achievement
You introduced the topic clearly and provided some relevant examples to support your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay had a logical structure, with distinct paragraphs for the introduction, body, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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