IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think paying taxes is a big enough contribution to society, while others think people have more responsibilitie as member of society than only paying taxes. Discuss both views and give uour opinion.

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In
this
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 argumentation, some citizens state that paying
taxes
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 would be a humongous contribution to the Constitution
whereas
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 the other group of
people
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 argues that citizen has enormous responsibilities apart from paying
taxes
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. In my opinion, to become a member of
society
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,
people
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 have to take on more responsibilities other than paying
taxes
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.
To begin
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 with,
people
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 who believe that paying
taxes
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 itself is a huge contribution to
society
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 think that it is enough for the development of the Constitution. Policymakers use the money acquired from
taxes
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 for some schemes
such
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 as free education, medical and loans for small-scale entrepreneurs.
For example
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, in India, 60% of the tax amount is given to farmers as an agricultural loan with a low interest rate.
In addition
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, 20% of the amount is used to build new schools in rural places.
On the other hand
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, some of the residents strongly believe that they have more commitment to be a part of
society
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 member
instead
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 of contributing to
taxes
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 for
society
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. Individuals have to participate in charitable services and work closely with social activists to fulfil the needs of
people
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 who are under the poverty line.
For instance
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, in the southern part of India, there are many tribal
people
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 who live in forest and mountain areas,
need
Correct word choice
and need
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 proper education and self-awareness for their betterment. TS charitable workers and social activists started conducting a free education campaign for the tribal children. I conclude with my point of view, that residents should show more involvement and responsibility in the betterment of our own country's growth irrespective of paying
taxes
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure clearer connections between ideas, using transition phrases to improve flow.
task achievement
Provide more depth in your arguments, explaining how the examples relate to your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Try to avoid repetition of phrases, such as 'for society'—consider varying your language.
task achievement
Clear expression of opinion and understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Well-structured paragraphs, making it easy to follow the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • fund
  • public services
  • social contract
  • communal benefits
  • allocate
  • resources
  • civic engagement
  • volunteer work
  • environmental conservation
  • governance
  • ethical behavior
  • democratic processes
  • active participation
  • societal contribution
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