Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There is no doubt that raising youngsters to be productive people is important in today’s world for various reasons. It is widely argued that fathers and mothers are the ones responsible for doing

this

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mission,

while

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others believe that part is for school. In my opinion, I strongly think that both of these can play a main role in shaping the personality of the individual. First of all,

it is clear that

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a number of people support a theory of the role of parents.

In other words

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, some people seem to think that parents are the first teachers for their children.

This

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is because they spend three-fourths of their time with their families in diverse situations like parks, family gatherings and shopping.

For example

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, the family is the initial environment where youngsters are provided communication skills and respect and that reflects in their behaviour later.

Furthermore

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according to

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a recent study by Sultan Qaboos University, approximately 45% of world leaders have a good social background.

In contrast

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, it is generally recognized that school plays a crucial role in raising students in society aspect. A key reason for

this

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is that

schools

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provide a completely organized learning environment with their courses for preparing students to be good members in the coming years.

For instance

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, nowadays

schools

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have national programs to enhance social values.

In addition

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according to

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statistics took place, almost 90 per 100

schools

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have a private course to prepare their pupils to be feature leaders. In conclusion, both sides of these statements are right. In my part of the view, I generally with

this

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point, as I believe parents with

schools

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have a seriously positive impact on individual behaviours and skills by combination of either helps children to be pretty members of the community.

However

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, I fully encourage everyone to take positive action to raise the youngsters effectively.

dream2cuwedMon Feb 17 2025

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task response

Make sure to provide a clearer thesis statement that summarizes your stance more explicitly in the introduction.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the logical flow between paragraphs to enhance the coherence of your argumentation.

coherence and cohesion

Check your use of transitions to connect ideas within and between paragraphs, which will help guide the reader more smoothly through your argument.

task response

Use more specific and relevant examples to substantiate your points, as some examples were too general and lacked clear relevance to your argument.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction effectively presents the topic and acknowledges both viewpoints, establishing a solid foundation for discussion.

task response

The inclusion of studies and statistics in your arguments adds credibility and demonstrates the use of relevant information.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

good members of society
teach
parents
schools
responsibility
values
respect
empathy
responsibility
formal education
citizenship
ethics
social responsibility
lead by example
role models
conducive environment
extracurricular activities
community involvement
collaborate
holistic approach

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