IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is important for everyone, including young
people
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, to save
money
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 for their
future
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. To what extent do you agree or disagree with
this
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 statement? There is an opinion in society, that it is extremely important to save resources for
people
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 of all ages, including young
people
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, to build their
future
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 and be sure about their safety. I partially agree with
this
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 statement,
due to
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 the opportunities
people
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 can miss, and dangers that can not be predicted. First and foremost, it is evident that irresponsibly spending
money
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, can cause a certain number of troubles,
such
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 as an increase in the risk of becoming dependent on something or pure.
Nevertheless
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, some
people
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 still do not pay enough attention to creating a safety pillow or searching for a passive income. In
this
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 century, when the deposit system exists, it is recommended to use it properly. You need to transfer your
money
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 from your bank account to your deposit pocket, and the amount of
money
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 will rise as time goes on. Most adult citizens are already informed and actively use it for their purposes,
however
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, young humans are still not enough educated in
this
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 perspective,
thus
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, most of them are becoming owed to the bank, and have more stress.
That is
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 why they need to be one of the users, and social works and programs
such
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 as “of
demeu
Correct your spelling
demo
 education” need to be advertised more.
On the other hand
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, students and young adults can miss the period of youth and opportunities because of worries about their
future
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. Putting all wages is not required for a successful and trustworthy
future
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. Splitting of income can help to sort
money
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 equally and have enough resources for both, entertainment and rationality. You always can save
money
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, but you are not always able to to spend your youth again and again.
Therefore
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,
people
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 who care too much about their economic state, are more often stressed and overloaded, and
according to
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 psychological research of 2021, the most suitable age for storing your savings is the third decade. In conclusion, saving
money
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 for the
future
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 is undoubtedly significant,
nevertheless
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,
people
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 should not forget about their wishes and focus on
future
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 safety,
thus
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 citizens should be informed how and when it is better to start.

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task achievement
Make your main argument more clear and specify how it relates to your agreement or disagreement with the statement.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main point.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points about saving money and its implications.
coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a balanced view by acknowledging both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay, with clear paragraphs for different points, is appropriate for academic writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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