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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some parents buy their kids a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages of a child having a large number of toys?

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It is a well-known fact that
toys
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 play a significant role in
children
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's development.
However
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, whether having a large number of
toys
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 is beneficial for
children
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 or not has become a hotly debated issue. I firmly believe that there are both advantages and disadvantages to
children
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 having an abundance of
toys
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.
To begin
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 with,
toys
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 can greatly contribute to
children
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's cognitive, social, and emotional development. Playing with
toys
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 allows
children
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 to have fun
while
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 learning new skills.
For instance
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, educational
toys
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such
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 as puzzles or building blocks enhance problem-solving abilities, creativity, and motor skills.
Additionally
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,
toys
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 that encourage group play help
children
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 develop social skills like cooperation, communication, and teamwork.
For example
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, when I was in primary school, I frequently played with an Exploration Blocks Set, which significantly fostered my cognitive, motor, and creative abilities.
On the other hand
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, an excessive number of
toys
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 can lead to several problems.
Firstly
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, some
toys
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, particularly those made from low-quality plastic materials, may pose health risks
due to
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 the presence of harmful chemicals.
Children
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 are often unaware of hygiene practices and may put
toys
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 in their mouths, increasing the likelihood of infections.
For instance
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, my cousin used to play with plastic dolls,
such
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 as Barbie and Bratz, for long hours. Unfortunately, she developed a skin infection
due to
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 bacteria and fungi accumulating on the
toys
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' surfaces. In conclusion,
while
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toys
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 play a crucial role in
children
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's development, having an excessive number of
toys
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 can cause health issues and overstimulation.
Therefore
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, parents should prioritize selecting safe, educational, and high-quality
toys
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while
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 ensuring proper hygiene and moderation to foster their
children
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's healthy growth and learning.

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task achievement
Consider providing a more balanced view by elaborating a bit more on the potential negative impacts of having too many toys.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to further enhance the logical flow of ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Try to include a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a well-structured argument with clear advantages and disadvantages of having many toys.
task achievement
The use of personal examples adds depth and relatability to the points made.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and gives practical advice for parents.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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