IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The natural resources such as oil, forest, and freshwater are being consumed at an alarming rate. What problems doeas it cause? How can we solve these problems?

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The excessive
consumption
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 of natural
resources
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such
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 as
oil
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, forests, and freshwater has become a major global concern.
This
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 overuse leads to serious environmental, economic, and social problems.
However
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, by implementing effective solutions, we can reduce the damage and ensure sustainability for future generations.
Firstly
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, the depletion of
oil
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 reserves leads to economic instability and increased dependence on non-renewable
energy
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 sources. As
oil
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 becomes scarce, prices rise, affecting industries and transportation costs worldwide.
Additionally
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, burning fossil fuels contributes to climate change, causing extreme weather conditions, rising sea levels, and habitat destruction.
Secondly
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, deforestation is a severe issue resulting from excessive logging and land clearing for
agriculture
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 and urban development. The loss of forests reduces biodiversity, disrupts ecosystems, and contributes to global warming by increasing carbon dioxide levels.
For example
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, The Taj Mahal ,Agra, India, the marble started yellowing
due to
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 the global warming .
Moreover
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, deforestation can lead to soil erosion, making land unsuitable for
agriculture
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 and causing food shortages.
Lastly
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, the overuse of freshwater threatens human survival, particularly in arid regions. Excessive
water
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consumption
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 for
agriculture
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, industry, and households leads to
water
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 scarcity, affecting drinking
water
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 supply and
irrigation
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. Many countries are already experiencing severe droughts, which negatively impact food production and public health.
For example
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, In India , increased used of
water
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 for the
irrigation
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 process , Rajanstan suffer from
water
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 scarcity, if
this
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 thing continues might within next year needs to the artificial rain same like Dubai. To tackle these problems,
governments
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 and individuals must take immediate action. Promoting Renewable
Energy
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: Investing in solar, wind, and hydroelectric power can reduce dependence on
oil
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.
Governments
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 should provide incentives for businesses and households to adopt clean
energy
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 sources. Afforestation and Sustainable Logging: Reforestation projects and strict regulations on deforestation can help restore ecosystems. Encouraging the use of recycled materials and eco-friendly alternatives to wood can
also
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 reduce tree-cutting.
Water
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 Conservation Measures:
Governments
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 should implement efficient
irrigation
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 systems,
such
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 as drip
irrigation
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, to reduce
water
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 wastage in
agriculture
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. Individuals can
also
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 contribute by using
water
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-saving devices and reducing daily
water
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consumption
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. Public Awareness Campaigns: Educating people about the importance of conserving natural
resources
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 can lead to more sustainable
consumption
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 habits. Schools, media, and environmental organizations should play a role in spreading awareness. In conclusion, the overuse of natural
resources
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 poses serious threats to the environment, economy, and human well-being.
However
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, by adopting renewable
energy
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, enforcing conservation laws, and spreading awareness, we can reduce the negative impact and ensure a sustainable future.
Governments
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, businesses, and individuals must work together to protect the planet’s valuable
resources
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.

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coherence and cohesion
While your essay is overall well structured, some transitions between points could be smoother to improve flow. Consider using more linking phrases to connect your ideas clearly.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant but could be enhanced by providing a bit more context or detail. For instance, briefly explaining how droughts in Rajasthan directly relate to overconsumption of water would strengthen the argument.
structure
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing the central arguments effectively.
task achievement
The solutions proposed are practical and well thought out, indicating a good understanding of potential approaches to address the issues.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • depletion
  • sustainability
  • conservation
  • biodiversity
  • ecological balance
  • environmental degradation
  • resource management
  • renewable resources
  • water scarcity
  • deforestation
  • economic instability
  • social inequality
  • pollution
  • habitat loss
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