Some believe that professional success depends largely on obtaining a good education, while others contend that personal talent and drive are more significant. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There has been an ongoing debate about how to be successful in a

career

Use synonyms

, with some

people

Use synonyms

arguing that it depends on the high quality of education.

In contrast

Linking Words

, others believe that individual motivation and ability play the most significant.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my viewpoint. On the one hand, a good curriculum has some benefits associated with a good

career

Use synonyms

. First of all, the knowledge which

include

Change the verb form

includes

show examples

academic and extracurricular activities will provide a solid fundamental for

people

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before joining the market.

Thus

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people

Use synonyms

not only have the ability to resolve some difficult tasks but

also

Linking Words

provide training sessions for other employees in the company to boost the team productivity.

Secondly

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, nowadays more and more companies require some particular academic certifications to increase their reputation as a way to get more potential customers.

As a result

Linking Words

, if the employee has graduated from the famous school, they will have a great opportunity to promote in their

career

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, opponents of

this

Linking Words

view claim that intelligence and drive are the most important to an individual's success. One strong argument against

this

Linking Words

idea is that the reality is different from the theory

people

Use synonyms

have learned in school. Business is becoming more and more competitive, leading to staff requiring more experience and IQ to cope with various business situations. A good example of

this

Linking Words

can be seen in top international companies

such

Linking Words

as Apple or Microsoft always have an IQ in the employment process and they believe that knowledge can be trained but motivation and intelligence cannot. In conclusion, both perspectives offer valid arguments. I believe that

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although

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

talent and motivation are very essential and realistic for each individual to be promoted.

However

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, a strong foundation of knowledge related to the job brings an overview and significant support.

People

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should balance both sides to achieve more success in a

career

Use synonyms

honghanhdt.297Tue Feb 18 2025

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task achievement

Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments, which could enhance the clarity and depth of your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that your paragraphs clearly connect to one another. Using more cohesive devices can help in guiding the reader through your arguments smoothly.

coherence and cohesion

While your introduction and conclusion are present, try to make them more impactful. A stronger hook or a more definitive conclusion could help elevate your essay.

task achievement

Your ability to present both sides of the argument shows a balanced perspective, which is commendable.

coherence and cohesion

You successfully structured your essay with clear paragraphs and relevant points, making it easy for the reader to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

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Some believe that professional success depends largely on obtaining a good education, while others contend that personal talent and drive are more significant. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

People are encouraged to get rid of things in order to get the newest fashion and the latest technology. Do the disadvantages of a throwaway society outweigh the economic advantages?

Education should be free to all people and should be paid for and managed by the government. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Computer and ai technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?